Welcome to the official website of
China Restoration of Asian Cinema Kingdom
Last Updated: April 1st, 2005

Dedicated to ending piracy and illegal downloads,
bringing Hong Kong and Chinese Cinema back to the forefront of International Cinema,
and crushing the likes of Korea, Japan, Thailand, Singapore, and Taiwan beneath its heel,
the China Restoration of Asian Cinema Kingdom (CRACK) is on the job.


Eric Tsang,
President of CRACK

"I'm sad.
Can't you see
that I'm sad?
Take a look at
my expression!
This is my sad

All About CRACK

     Eric Tsang has a reason to be sad. Hong Kong Film is dying, and nobody can do anything about it. Until now. As the leader of China Restoration of Asian Cinema Kingdom (CRACK), Tsang is working to make sure that Hong Kong and China regain their top spot in the Asian Cinema world. CRACK has hired a group of Hong Kong Cinema luminaries, including megaproducer Wong Jing, cosmetic surgery specialist Teresa Chiang, that lovable pig McDull, plus high-powered lawyer Ekin Cheng, and some other nutjobs to take on the rest of Asia, and that most dreaded of foes: Piracy. Their plans are numerous, but the first order of business: a massive nuclear strike on Mongkok. There might also be a lucky draw, and maybe a nice banquet.

CRACK's Axis of Evil, as explained by Eric Tsang

Bit Torrent
"I've never used this BT thing, but I hear it's bad, real bad. It better stop. I mean it!
"Did you see 6AM? I've put a hit on the filmmakers. I should get a call back in about an hour."
"Thanks to them, I can't even see my own movies on DVD!"
"How can he name his site LoveHKFilm.com? Is he trying to be ironic or something? I kicked ass in Partners!"
John Woo
"Didn't he use to be a film director?"
South Korea
"Using a whole pack of tissue at a movie doesn't mean it's good! Why don't people realize that!?!"
Ong Bak
"Damn that Tony Jaa kid! He's stealing HK's thunder! I'm getting his legs broken next week!"
The Wachowski Brothers
"Thanks to them, everyone thinks martial arts movies suck!"

Meet the rest of CRACK
Go here if you want to see who else
is working with Eric Tsang on CRACK.
Listen to the Man on the Street
Go here to see what the common man
thinks about CRACK.

The terrible price of piracy...

Nicholas Tse became
an NBA referee. He was
recently killed when
Yao Ming stepped on him.

This is bad. 'Nuff said.

Thanks to piracy, Aaron Kwok is
out of work, and has to select
and purchase his own wardrobe.
Someone stop this madness!

2R is out of work, and has
resorted to threatening
tourists for their cash.
They recently ran into...

...Boyz, who lost their minds
when they disbanded and became
vigilantes. Now they work at KFC.

The lone exception to all of this:

Can nothing stop these girls?
Finding Osama Bin Laden would be easier than putting a muzzle on this duo.
What happened to fair competition?

Ekin Cheng,
Attorney at Law

And now a brief word from Ekin Cheng,
Legal Representative for CRACK

"Hi there. If my experience in the Hong Kong Entertainment Circle has taught me a lesson, then this is the lesson: people are stupid. Eric Tsang and Wong Jing expect me to represent them in a court of law. Ha! I'm just collecting a paycheck! The joke's on them!

"Years ago, I fooled the world into thinking I was some sort of superstar, and now I've got these guys thinking I'm a real lawyer - all because I got a pair of glasses! Like I said: people are stupid. These so-called "movie fans" are the same way. They think that because they can download movies, then it's okay. Well, it's not! People should stop making stupid assumptions. Back when I made 70 Young and Dangerous movies, people assumed that I was some sort of superstar, or worse, a gang leader! Get this straight: if I saw a pack of guys with machetes and knives running towards me, I'd run my ass out of there! It's what any reasonable person would do! Reasonable people also pay for their movies because that's what they're supposed to do. It's called right and wrong. I'd tell you to look into it, but you'd have to actually read this far to hear me say it.

"Let's sum up: Wong Jing and Eric Tsang are fooling themselves into thinking I can run their legal ship. I'm making six figures because of my glasses and tie. People who download movies are fooling themselves into thinking it's okay. You can point the finger at your parents, your friends, the filmmakers, the movie business, China, Hollywood, or me if it makes you feel better, but here's the bottom line: people are stupid. They don't do their homework, they don't read the fine print, and they don't pay for their movies. Stop taking things for granted! You're killing the movie industry and allowing guys like me to earn six figures for wearing a pair of glasses! Pay for your movies, you bastards! I'm Ekin Cheng."


Q: Do you think piracy is bad?

Would you like to donate to the cause? Go see a Hong Kong movie. It's only eight bucks, damn you!