Meet the
Candidates for Vice President
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Ekin in 2004
presents an indepth look at the candidates for Ekin Cheng's vice
president,
and the plusses and minuses of their possible election to office.
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Candidate:
Jordan Chan
Credits: Has a long personal history with the presidential
candidate. Tough. Won't take crap from anyone else, but will gladly
be number two to Ekin.
Debits: A little fruity. Could be dating trouble (AKA: Cecilia
Cheung). No longer a reliable box office force.
Expert Analysis: Lock this guy up! His experience as Chicken
to Ekin's Chan Ho-Nam makes him an A+ candidate. |
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Candidate:
Edison Chen
Credits: Popular with the younger crowd. Cute. Knows the right
lingo to communicate with the peeps.
Debits: Nine Girls and a Ghost. Questionably talented
or skilled at anything. Raps like a ninth grader in detention. Canadian.
Expert Analysis: Good for the younger demographic, but he makes
Dan Quayle look like a political genius. Ekin would probably kick
his ass. |
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Candidate:
Cheung Tat-Ming
Credits: A funny guy, and is comfortable with a supporting
role. Was in many good films, though he was never the star.
Debits: Not the prettiest guy on the block. Sometimes really
annoying. His career is a mystery most experts cannot properly explain.
Cop Shop Babes.
Expert Analysis: Not a great idea. While he would gladly play
second fiddle, he won't bring the female vote. |
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Candidate:
Nick Cheung
Credits: An underrated dramatic actor. Was almost the best
thing about The Duel. Looks like Jacky Cheung.
Debits: Has worked too much with Wong Jing. Can be annoying
as all hell. The Tricky Master. Looks like Jacky Cheung.
Expert Analysis: An ideal number three or four choice if you
can't get Jordan. However, his film choices lead us to believe that
he would be easy prey for the PACs. |
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Candidate:
William Hung
Credits: "American Idol". A massive hit on the Internet.
Confident and thick-skinned. Doesn't back down from a challenge. Simon
Cowell could not make him cry.
Debits: Completely untalented. Not the brightest bulb around,
and frequently finds himself outclassed and outmatched.
Expert Analysis: Will never happen. How did he even get this
far, anyway? It's a miracle that the party didn't cut him sooner. |
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Candidate:
Louis Koo
Credits: Women would die simply for the chance to vote for
him. Worked with Ekin in For Bad Boys Only.
Debits: For Bad Boys Only. Ladykiller looks are a tabloid
nightmare in the making. The perma-tan makes him look "shifty".
It also scares kids.
Expert Analysis: An Ekin-Louis ticket is the ultimate photo
opportunity, but will he play second fiddle to Ekin again? |
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Candidate:
Lam Suet
Credits: A good guy. Experience as both a crew member and an
actor shows that he's multitalented. Knows Johnnie To.
Debits: America hates that mole on his cheek. Appeared naked
in Where a Good Man Goes. Zero presence with the female vote.
Was in U-Man.
Expert Analysis: Blue-collar work ethic makes him popular with
the people. Not a bad choice, but far from a sexy one. |
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Candidate:
McDull
Credits: Cute and cuddly. Loves his Mom. If he fails as VP,
you could always serve up some bacon or sausage.
Debits: The slowest among all the candidates. McMug steals
his thunder on a daily basis. Those bun-snatching skills will get
him nowhere on the campaign trail.
Expert Analysis: Would get the tykes to vote, but it should
be noted that tykes DON'T vote. |
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Candidate:
Ng Man-Tat
Credits: Has been the ideal sidekick in many great movies.
Can be tough or silly. Probably a great uncle.
Debits: More than a little fruity. Without Stephen Chow, it's
questionable if he can accomplish anything. Has exposed his navel
in the past to distastrous results.
Expert Analysis: A good sidekick, but only if Stephen Chow
is in the driver's seat. Might be dead weight for Ekin. |
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Candidate:
Shing Fui-On
Credits: Versatile guy. Can be funny or tough. Will back the
President in the media by barking loudly and sneering. Has had political
experience on a local level.
Debits: Looking for payback after Ekin hit him with a chair
in Young and Dangerous. Not very photogenic. Frightens children.
Would probably kick Ekin's ass.
Expert Analysis: We like him, but common sense says no. |
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Candidate:
Tin Kai-Man
Credits: Has operated both in front of and behind the scenes.
Is a good supporting guy. Willing to take shots for the good of the
president. Knows Stephen Chow.
Debits: No name recognition. His roles are usually small; he
could freeze up under a bigger spotlight. Looks dopey.
Expert Analysis: A small potato. Probably more suited for a
cabinet position than VP. |
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Candidate:
Chapman To
Credits: Exceptionally high visibility. Was in the Infernal
Affairs movies. Well-liked and even respected.
Debits: Has appeared in lots of crap. Overexposed and possibly
overextended. Does he have the time to be Vice President of the free
world?
Expert Analysis: A trendy choice, but will he be too exhausted
from making 40 movies a year to fulfill his duties as VP? |
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Candidate:
Nicholas Tse
Credits: Ballsy and tough. Won't back down from anyone. Has
supported Ekin in A Man Called Hero. As pretty as a girl.
Debits: Cops too much attitude. Over-sensitive. Too much of
a player. His auto insurance premiums equal the GNP of some small
countries. As pretty as a girl.
Expert Analysis: Will get teens to the polls, but is probably
too good-looking to be Ekin's VP. His father might meddle. |
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Candidate:
Tsui Kam-Kong
Credits: Multi-skilled with both drama and comedy under his
belt. Is willing to get his hands dirty for his art. Fun at parties.
Debits: Too much information! His work in Sex and Zen
hides few secrets. Was once more overexposed than Chapman To, both
figuratively and literally. The wigs fool nobody.
Expert Analysis: Not a bad choice, but America will never forgive
the party if he's put on the ticket. |
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Candidate:
Michael Wong
Credits: Bilingual, though questionably. Was in Lost and
Found. Also produces and directs. Has a famous brother.
Debits: Zero presence in either language. Has the acting skills
of a chunk of granite. Too many bad movies to count. Wants to be called
"Stone Wong" on the party ticket.
Expert Analysis: America already had a blandly handsome VP
who seemed slow on the uptake. |
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