| How has 2004 been treating
you? |
|
|
"Pretty
good. I've become exponentially more beautiful since the millenium,
which only causes problems if you're not me." - Michelle Reis |
|
|
"Hmm,
not so well. I thought they were finally going to make Gen-Z Cops,
which I hoped would reinvigorate my career. But it didn't happen.
Now I'm making Troublesome Night 47 with Edison Chen. Please
kill me."
- Sam Lee |
| Charlene Choi: talented? |
|
|
"Heh,
I would have to have private 'casting sessions' with each of them
before I could tell you who was more talented. Or better yet, I would
have a casting session with both at the same time! Please excuse my
drooling." - Jordan Chan |
|
|
"Yeah
right! That whiny bitch couldn't act her way out of a paper bag! I've
been carrying the two of us for years. I hope they finally pair me
with Stephy Tang for New Twins! Oh, don't tell Charlene I said this."
- Gillian Chung |
| Gillian Chung: talented? |
|
|
"She's
delightful and very talented! At first I thought she would be as untalented
and uninteresting as the other Twin, but Gillian has shown surprising
emotional depth! I loved her in My Wife is 18!" - Chow
Yun-Fat |
|
|
"No
way! I used to think so, but now I know that she's just a toadying
little princess who flatters the directors to get better lighting.
She also sucks up to the music engineers. Adorable, my ass! Oh, don't
tell Gillian I said this." - Charlene Choi |
| Is America going to hell? |
|
|
"America
is going through a moral crisis! The female celebrities expose their
bodies and prance around shamelessly for publicity! No wonder they
get groped by their fans, or harrassed by the media! In my opinion,
they deserve everything they get!"
- Cecilia Cheung |
|
|
"It's
all a question of leadership and accountability. If America had a
strong, forthright leader with good moral fiber, then it wouldn't
be in its current predicament. I fully support Ekin Cheng in 2004!"
- some random nameless guy |
| Paper or plastic? |
|
|
"Paper.
It's bio-degradable, unlike compact discs, which are taking up space
in landfills all over China. I know my CDs aren't bio-degradable,
but who's going to throw them away? It's not like I'm Edison Chen
or something."
- Jacky Cheung |
|
|
"I
would say plastic. Have you tried using paper contraceptives? They
really hold up poorly. And hey, I have enough kids as it is!!"
- Jackie Chan |
| Edison Chen: talented? |
|
|
"Of
course he is! Only someone with talent could have played a young me
in Infernal Affairs! Besides, didn't you see him in Metade
Fumaca and Time and Tide? That boy can really act! What?
No, I've never actually met Edison Chen." - Andy Lau |
|
|
"Talent
isn't the issue. I always judge men on other important assets, which
in Edison's case are a little below average. He doesn't know this,
but I snuck a peek at him backstage at the MTV Asia Awards. I feel
nauseous just thinking about it."
- Candy Lo |
|
| What are you laughing
about? |
|
|
"I'm
so happy that Kozo is gone! Yeah, I know he liked my movies, but he
always bitched about my buddy Wong Jing! Yo Kozo, you can mess with
Ekin Cheng all you want, but nobody touches Fatboy!" - Stephen
Chow |
|
|
"They just greenlit Golden
Chicken 3! I hear that this time I play a happy hooker in space!
I'll be called upon to service Aaron Kwok, who plays a bisexual
hermaphrodite. Wow, these Hong Kong screenwriters are amazing!"
- Sandra Ng
|
| What will Kozo do now? |
|
|
"I
don't know, but I wish him well. I'm hoping that he pitches a tent
outside Miriam Yeung's house. It'll be sad to see him leave his camping
spot in my front yard, but a guy has to move on. Besides, the lawn
needs mowing." - Sammi Cheng |
|
|
"Who
cares? All I know is he better watch his back! Hey Kozo, I'm coming
to kick your ass for all your mean reviews! You watch yourself; I
have the death sentence in twelve systems! What, you'll be careful?
You'll be dead!" - Bat Leung-Gum |
| You're popular: how does
that feel? |
|
|
"Like
a million bucks! I owe it all to the tan. Before I got bronzed, I
was just some two-bit guy in Troublesome Night movies. Now
I'm a major heartthrob and box-office draw. Thank you, Coppertone!"
- Louis Koo |
|
|
"Are
you sure I'm popular? My movies make money, but people keep calling
me 'Fake Sammi'." And now that Kozo guy lives on my front lawn!
How's my gardener going to mow the lawn?" - Miriam Yeung |
| What is your greatest accomplishment? |
|
|
"Breaking
free from Category III movies was my greatest accomplishment. Thanks
to that, I now get taken seriously, and have even been called Asia's
best actress! Boy, people are stupid." - Shu Qi |
|
|
"Breaking
free from Category III movies was my greatest accomplishment. What?
You haven't seen any of my Category III movies? Uh...that's because
there aren't any. Yeah, that's right. Really, I mean it! Don't try
to find them!" - Anya |
| Who's the man? |
|
|
"I
am! Did you see me in Partners! I kicked ass! I was also really,
really good in City of SARS. Nobody can play fat, annoying
guys like me! Hey, I dare Tony Leung Chiu-Wai to work these eyebrows!"
- Eric Tsang |
|
|
"It
would have to be Stephen Chow! His movies are so funny, and always
make a ton of money! I love appearing in them because I'm just happy
to support him! Did you hear that, Sing Jai? Please hire me again!
I need the work." - Christy Chung |
| Your career is over: how
do you feel? |
|
|
"Well,
I never really liked my career anyway. Girls like Maggie and Brigitte
got all that great press, but I was always being called a 'Flower
Vase'. You think it's easy being this pretty? Surgery like this costs
money!"
- Joey Wong |
|
|
"My
career is over? It's about time! I was only doing it for the chicks,
anyway. At least my boyz are backing me. They gave me props even when
you all thought I had a future. Took the peeps long enough to figure
out that I had no talent. You all got no skillz." - Edison Chen |
|
