I’ve been streamlining my stuff recently, paring down my possessions, hoping to do the responsible thing by reducing my ecological footprint on the planet …

… actually, that’s not exactly true.  I’m not a pious environmentalist, I’m a cheap bastard trying to reduce potential costs in case I have to move someday.

What does that have to do with the entertainment circle?  Nothing really.  It’s just the lead up to my latest excuse for delaying the long promised blog post on TVB’s GREEN GRASS OF HOME.  If I delay it one more time, I may have to start a new blog category: “TVB Post Delay Excuses”.

Anyway, part of my streamlining process includes getting rid of my cassette tape (yes, I’m an old fart) and CD collections.  As a result, I’ve been converting my favourite tracks to mp3s so that I can sell/donate/give away my tapes and CDs someday.  While converting some selections from my “Rock Records Hit Songs Collection” CD, I came across Richie Ren’s  《對面的女孩看過來》 (Girl Over There, Look Over Here) and I thought it was a good candidate for an edition of “Old Cake” Cantopop — despite the fact the song isn’t THAT old and that it’s actually sung in Mandarin and not Cantonese.

Written and performed originally by Malaysian singer Tan Kheng Seong (陳慶祥; Chan Hing-Cheung aka Ah Niu; 阿牛), the song exploded in popularity when Richie Ren (Yam Yin-Chai) covered it for an EP in June 1998.  Featuring a charming folksy sound, the song tells the story of a young boy trying to catch the attention of a girl he sees in the distance.  The popularity of Ren’s cover version got Tan a Taiwanese record deal which helped him become known beyond the Malaysian market.  Not only did the song help establish his singing career, it gave him a little bit of a film career as well because Tan got a movie role when 《對面的女孩看過來》 was featured in the Richie Ren-Sammi Cheng romantic comedy SUMMER HOLIDAY in 2000.  Tan parlayed that performance into two roles in 2001 movies: a supporting role in the Aaron Kwok musical PARA PARA SAKURA and a lead role in the inspirational comedy/drama TAKE 2 IN LIFE.

I’ve done a rough translation of the lyrics (see below) and uploaded the karaoke videos for both the original Ah Niu and Richie Ren remake versions.  As always, you can buy CDs that feature this song from YesAsia (Richie Ren, Ah Niu).

MISCELLANEA:

- In the Ah Niu version, the spoken parts have Ah Niu saying that he is “very ugly but very gentle”, a girl calling Ah Niu “crazy” and, at the end, a girl saying that Ah Niu is “gross”.

- In the Richie Ren version, the spoken part at the end has Ren sighing and saying: “forget it, let’s go home”.

- While Ren definitely delivers a more polished performance, there is an otaku-like, underdog charm to Ah Niu’s version that makes it, to me, the better version.  That said, it’s a great song and both versions are enjoyable.

- On a tangential note, a testament to Sammi Cheng’s immense popularlity during her run in the early part of this decade was that she remained a box office queen in spite of the fact that she played some really despicable characters in her movies.  She was an unpleasant workaholic in SUMMER HOLIDAY, a mean-spirited bitch in FIGHTING FOR LOVE, a golddigger in MARRY A RICH MAN and yet another bitch in MY LEFT EYE SEES GHOSTS.  It’s actually quite remarkable because those aren’t exactly Charlene Choi, Hong Kong’s sweetheart type roles.

Image credits: Richie Ren’s Blog (Richie Ren)

Having set up a fall guy to take the blame in case this post goes south, I’m ready to share some thoughts on the BANGKOK DANGEROUS remake.

BANGKOK DANGEROUS (2008)
Official Site: http://www.bangkokdangerousmovie.net/
Directors: The Pang Brothers (Oxide Pang Chun, Danny Pang Fat)
Cast: Nicolas Cage (Joe), Shahkrit Yamnarm (Kong), Charlie Yeung (Fon), Panward Hemmanee (Aom), Nirattisai Kaljaruek (Surat)

Synopsis (from Yahoo! Movies): The life of Joe, an anonymous assassin, takes an unexpected turn when he travels to Thailand to complete a series of contract killings. Joe, a remorseless hitman, is in Bangkok to execute four enemies of a ruthless crime boss named Surat. He hires Kong, a street punk and pickpocket, to run errands for him with the intention of covering his tracks by killing him at the end of the assignment. Strangely, Joe, the ultimate lone wolf, finds himself mentoring the young man instead whilst simultaneously being drawn into a tentative romance with a local shop girl. As he falls further under the sway of Bangkok’s intoxicating beauty, Joe begins to question his isolated existence and let down his guard–just as Surat decides it’s time to clean house.

PRE-CONCEIVED NOTIONS: None.  This movie only popped up on my radar when the trailer for it was shown when I went to a screening of THE BANK JOB back in April.  As it stars Nicolas Cage, whose recent track record is dubious at best, I was going to pass on this film but I caught a glimpse of the fabulous Charlie Yeung Choi-Lei in the trailer so I knew that I’d have to see it when it came out.

I haven’t even seen the original BANGKOK DANGEROUS.  To be honest, while I have the DVD of ABNORMAL BEAUTY lying around somewhere, the only Pang Brothers movies I’ve seen are THE EYE and THE DETECTIVE.  I have nothing against Danny Pang and Oxide Pang, it’s just that, as a rationalist/skeptic Scully type, I tend to stay away from ghost/supernatural movies unless the word “erotic” is somehow involved.

I’m going into the movie hoping that it will be good and that it will be a good showcase for Charlie Yeung.  Yeung starred in two of my favourite Hong Kong movies from the 1990s: DOWNTOWN TORPEDOES and TASK FORCE.  Sadly, the DVDs for both films are out of print but it’s worth your time to go hunting for the odd copies that may be still be sitting on a video store shelf.  Between the two, TASK FORCE is definitely the one you should work harder to acquire.

AFTER THE MOVIE: Average — that’s the word that comes to mind when I think about the film.  BANGKOK DANGEROUS tells an unremarkable variation of the standard, run-of-the-mill “jaded hitman is on his last job” story.  It features some decent acting and is competently made though there are instances where it has that annoying herky-jerky, murky look which used to be cool but is now mostly irritating.  The film is mildly entertaining but there are times when it drags along like one of those 50-episode TVB dramas that only has 30 episodes worth of plot.  It’s not a bad film but I wouldn’t call it good either.  Unless you are a rabid Pang Brothers fan or you can see it at a second-run theatre for $4 or less, wait until this becomes one of those 7-day rentals that you can get for a couple of bucks.

MORE THOUGHTS: Saddled with a thankless deaf-mute love interest role, Charlie Yeung does the best that she can with a ludicrous character.  She does a good job of emoting without words and has some fabulous close-ups but her character (Fon) and the relationship she has with the Nicolas Cage hitman character (Joe) is so far-fetched, you not only have to suspend disbelief, you need to hire a hypnotist to temporarily disable the higher-functioning parts of your brain.  As I said earlier, I went into the movie with a lot of good will for it and Charlie Yeung.  I wanted to like it but from the moment Fon first interacted with Joe, I couldn’t help rolling my eyes at the improbability of the situation.  To wit:

- Despite being deaf and mute, Fon readily and enthusiastically takes on customer service at her work.  I think 99% of people with her physical situation would be doing behind-the-counter, non-customer service duties.

- Without a hint of hesitation, Fon agrees to go out with Joe even though he looks a little creepy and seems a little shady.

- Fon takes Joe home to meet her family yet still hasn’t asked him what he does for a living.  I don’t know about you but, whenever I meet someone new in a social situation, the “what do you do with your life” question comes up within fifteen minutes.

Perhaps I’m being harsh and overly nitpicky but there is no credible core to the Fon character.  Even though Charlie Yeung tries her best to breathe life into Fon, it just doesn’t work because the character is too inauthentic and too unbelievable.

SECOND THOUGHTS: I went to the movie with my friend Jay and his lovely bride Keri.  As we left the theatre, I asked Jay what he thought of the film.  Unequivocally, he told me that the movie stinks.  When I said that I thought it was OK, he said that if I had seen the original BANGKOK DANGEROUS, I’d realize that the 2008 version is a steaming pile of poo.  Intrigued by Jay’s emphatic reaction, I went to the local Blockbuster store on my way home and rented the DVD.

After watching the DVD, I have to agree with Jay.  The BANGKOK DANGEROUS remake pales in comparison to the original.  As Sanjuro pointed out in his LoveHKFilm review of the film, the original is a “satisfying” film experience while most people can take or leave the remake.  In the original, the hitman — and not the love interest — is the one who is deaf-mute.  This makes the original eminently more … uh … original and compelling than the remake.

Why would the Pang Brothers kneecap their original premise and make the questionable decision to turn the love interest into the deaf-mute?  Money.

In an article that was published in the International Herald Tribune on July 13th, 2006, the following passage reveals the reason behind the change:

While the original production was made on a $400,000 budget, the budget this time has ballooned to $45 million, and Oxide Pang admits to being under pressure to make some changes to the script. The original script calls for the lead actor to play a deaf-mute hit man.

“We’d like to keep him the same, but we understand that from a marketing purpose Nic needs to have some lines,” Pang said. “So what we’re going to do is transform his girlfriend into a deaf- mute. By switching the roles, the drama of communication between two people will remain the same.”

I hate to be a Monday Morning Quarterback but the remake would have been better and, ultimately, more profitable if the Pang Brothers stuck to their artistic vision and kept the original premise.  Instead of offering the 3,337th iteration of “burned out hitman looks to get out after one last job”, they could have offered mainstream Western audiences something different and unique.  You can just imagine the extra buzz the film would have received from the talking heads on ET/THE INSIDER/EXTRA/ACCESS HOLLYWOOD.  They all would have gushed breathlessly about how Nicolas Cage plays a deaf-mute.  As the guys in TROPIC THUNDER indelicately point out, handicap roles in movies draw attention.  By taking the deaf-mute aspect away from the hitman and putting it on to the love interest, the Pang Brothers ruined the hook that gives the original its spark.  Instead of a potential source of commendation, it’s now a definite source of derision.

MISCELLANEA:

- While I have done some traveling, I pretty much live a “frog at the bottom of a well” existence.  So, I have to ask: Are strip clubs in Bangkok any where near as lavish as they are depicted in the movie?  The last time — actually the only time — I was in a strip club, the place smelled like stale beer and the girls were, at best, sixes.  None of them were as hot as Aom and her colleagues.  Some of them had more tattoos than a Japanese yakuza.

- XX vs XY: I mentioned earlier that I went to the BANGKOK DANGEROUS remake with my friend Jay and his wife Keri.  Keri came along just because it was something to do.  She isn’t exactly a fan of the action genre.  Still, her reaction to the movie caught me off guard.  When asked what she thought of the movie, this was her only response: “You know that scene in the temple?  The deaf girl (Charlie Yeung) had visible panty line.”

CHINESE LESSON OF THE DAY:

井底之蛙 is a Chinese idiom used to describe someone who does has a very limited outlook.  It’s derived from this Chinese fable.

Image credits: International Entertainment Group (BANGKOK DANGEROUS remake movie poster, Charlie Yeung), Film Bangkok/Pang Bros. (BANGKOK DANGEROUS original movie poster)

With the arrival of September and people shuffling out of “summer mode” and back into “the routine”, I’m delaying the TVB post one more time in favour of a post on something timely but a little offbeat for a HK entertainment blog: students going back to school after the summer holiday.

But first (^TMJulie Chen), a couple of reader interaction tidbits to take care of:

- To Jo who asked me about the TVB series I’m going to post about, it’s THE GREEN GRASS OF HOME (緣來自有機).  I’d like to say that I watched it because I was curious to see how TVB handled the environmental themes but honestly it’s because Christine Ng Wing-Mei, at the relatively advanced age (for a TVB starlet) of 39, is “still gettin’ it done”.

Actually, looking ahead, I may be delaying the TVB post one more time because I plan on seeing how Charlie Yeung Choi-Lei fares in the BANGKOK DANGEROUS remake sometime this weekend.  Of course, this means I’ll have to somehow tear myself away from the TV and opening weekend NFL action.

- While writing this post, I started to wonder how “summer holidays” work in the Southern Hemisphere.  Do people in places like Australia and New Zealand synchronize their holidays with North America and Europe or do school kids down under get December or January or February off?  Yeah, I realize that I could easily get the answer from Google but I’m a lazy, lazy man.

On to the business of the day …

Even though I haven’t attended school since the days Confucius taught classes on the Five Classics under the large scholar tree in his courtyard, I still get a bittersweet feeling when the calendar rolls around to September.  I think it’s because the whole “back to school” rigmarole that takes place in the culture and the slight chill that creeps into the air in the mornings and the evenings signals that the lazy, hazy, carefree days of summer are over and that it’s time to get serious again.

The “back to school” milieu also brings to mind the Sam Hui Kwoon-Kit song 《學生哥》 (lit. Student Brother) where Ah Sam exhorts kids, through a catchy tune, to study hard in school so that they can one day become independent.  It was released in 1978 on Hui’s album 賣身契 (THE CONTRACT).  For those of you who aren’t familiar with Sam Hui, he — along with James Wong Jim (黃霑), Joseph Koo Ka-Fai (顧嘉煇) and Lo Man (羅文, Roman Tam) — helped transform Cantonese music from the literal, classical Cantonese Opera form that dominated the HK music scene until the early-1970s to the colloquial, informal Cantopop of today.  While Wong, Koo and Tam did it primarily through television theme music, Hui helped popularize Cantopop through songs that spoke directly to Hong Kong people by addressing the issues of the day in the vernacular of the day.

Showing a wide artistic range, not only could Hui be topical [as shown in the song 《話知你 97》 (trans. Could Not Care Less About 1997)], he could also be philosophical [《世事如棋》 (trans. Life Is Like A Game Of Chess)], satirical [《打雀英雄傳》 (trans. Mahjong Playing Heroes — a spoof of the theme song to a 1970s TV adaptation of Jin Yong’s LEGEND OF THE CONDOR HEROES)] and comical [with the aforementioned 《賣身契》 (trans. Contract Of Indentured Servitude), a song about how people enter into life only after signing a contract of servitude with God … or the Great Whatever of your particular religion].  Western audiences are most likely to know of Hui through the song 《最佳拍檔》 (trans. Ideal Partner) — the theme song for the ACES GO PLACES movies.  If you would like to learn more about Sam Hui, a substantial biography of Hui can be found at Sam Hui Online.

《學生哥》 shows Hui’s philosophical and topical sides.  In it, he uses plain, everyday Cantonese to tell school kids to study hard so that they can make something of themselves in life.  I’ve done a rough translation of the lyrics (see below) and I’ve uploaded a clip of the song that you can check out here.  If you want to check out the song in its entirety, a four CD set of Sam Hui’s greatest hits can be had at YesAsia for a fairly decent price of US$21.49.

 The lyrics:

CHINESE LESSON OF THE DAY:

老餅 or “old cake” is Cantonese slang used to describe people of a certain age (namely old farts like me).  It’s slightly more polite and affectionate than 老柴 (lo chai or “old firewood”).

Image credits: TVB (Christine Ng), Polygram Records (Sam Hui)

For a host of idiosyncratic reasons, I’m once again delaying the post on watching my first TVB series in years. Instead, I’m going to share a few thoughts on the opening ceremonies for the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games. One of these days, I’m going to go back to doing topical posts about the entertainment circle but let me justify this indulgence by saying Zhang Yimou directed the ceremony so it falls within the LoveHKFilm.com purview. When I do a post on how I like to hang out at my remote mountain cabin and play my priceless Stradivarius cello for my dog Tet, that’ll be when I’ve completely turned this blog into one of those “what I had for breakfast and what colour shirt I’m wearing” type of blogs.

Actually, you guys have my Dad and my insane devotion to the Confucian idea of filial piety to thank for this post. I got up at 3:45 am on Friday morning so that I could watch CBC’s coverage of the opening ceremonies with the Old Man at 5 am. Since my Dad isn’t much of a fan of Chinese cinema — he regularly confuses Zhang Yimou with Ang Lee — he didn’t get any of my Zhang Yimou wisecracks. As I need an outlet for my referential humour, I’m inflicting my bad Zhang Yimou jokes on all of you.

PRE-CONCEIVED NOTIONS: Given that the Chinese government believes an outstanding showing as the host of the Olympic Games is in the “national interest”, it’s hard to imagine that the opening ceremonies will be anything less than spectacular. After all, eighteen months and a reported US$300 million were spent preparing for the show. With Zhang Yimou in charge, I expect the ceremony to be split into five distinct sections each with its own color-code — corresponding to the colors of the Olympic rings: blue, black, red, yellow and green. I also expect many, many hot women squeezed into impossibly tights outfits that display copious amounts of cleavage. A week before the ceremony, China Daily reported that a cast of thousands held a dress rehearsal at the Bird’s Nest. I suspect, however, that it’s actually a cast of hundreds with the rest filled in by a ridiculous overuse of CGI.

To be honest, I’m surprised that the Chinese government picked Zhang Yimou to run the ceremony because his last film was based on the Chinese idiom “金玉其外, 敗絮其內” or “gold and jade on the outside, rotten and withered on the inside”. A Freudian slip, perhaps, by the powers-that-be in China … I’m just kidding Chinese government censors. Please don’t ban this blog in the Mainland. We kid because we love.

AFTER THE CEREMONY: If one of the Chinese government’s goals for hosting these games is to announce to the world that China is ready to take centre stage in the global community, the goal was achieved … and then some. All that was missing was the unveiling of a huge “Mission Accomplished” banner from the top of the Bird’s Nest. From the opening countdown to the spectacular fireworks display that closed the show, the subtext to the precisely co-ordinated spectacle seemed to be saying: “We have the talent. We have the numbers. We have the will. We have the money. We are going to own the 21st Century.”

This wasn’t the false bravado of some punk kid who just talks the talk but can’t walk the walk, this was a full-on demonstration of something Jet Li’s character said in MY FATHER IS A HERO — a real man doesn’t talk about how he is going to do this or how he is going to do that, a real man just does it. This is precisely what China did on the hot and humid night of August 8th, it showed the World by deeds and actions that it is fully capable of being the dominant global presence or, if you will, “the man” of the 21st Century.

MORE THOUGHTS: Social and political implications aside, the most impressive part of the ceremony was the exact co-ordination of a cast of thousands. I joked earlier about Zhang Yimou’s overuse of CGI in CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER but, given the budget and resources, Zhang was able to actualize his grand vision with real, live people. The opening countdown, the bit with the 2,008 drummers, the movable type segment and the human Bird’s Nest were magnificent displays of timing and a grand payoff for months of meticulous preparation.

Segments like the tributes to papermaking and calligraphy showed off the depth of Zhang’s artistry and breadth of his imagination. It almost makes you want to forget that he killed the momentum for Chinese films in the West with HERO and buried it with HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS.

MISCELLANEA:

- Even before all the controversy with the “Ode to the Motherland” girl surfaced, I found the use of children during the ceremony a little off-putting. Maybe it’s because I’m turning into an old grouch but I always find gratuitous use of kids in ceremonies treacly and a lazy way to manufacture sentiment. It wasn’t just Lin Miaoke that struck me as sappy, it was also the parade of children dressed in various ethnic costumes. I will say, however, that having earthquake survivor Lin Hao lead the Chinese team with Yao Ming was a nice tribute to the earthquake victims and a great way to honour Lin for heroically saving some of his classmates during the earthquake.

- Even if you aren’t a ham sup lo, I think you couldn’t help but notice the ring of girls who cheered and waved throughout the two-hour plus Parade of Nations. According to the Beijing Meteorology Service, the temperature during the ceremony was a sweltering 29°C yet those girls had an unwavering energy level. Considering that the Parade of Nations lasted about as long as it takes to run a marathon, those girls achieved an amazing physical feat. Maybe Zhang Yimou used CGI after all because it’s hard to fathom that those girls were that active for that long without having to drink water or go to the bathroom or do the things that humans need to do.

- In the lead up to the lighting of the Olympic flame, the CBC presenters were saying that the organizers were being very secretive about how the Olympic cauldron was going to be lit. One of them even wondered if there was an Olympic cauldron. While Li Ning was doing his “running on the wall”, I turned to my Dad and joked: “At the last minute he’s going to turn away and not light the flame. There’s going to be a big thing about how they’re not going to do an Olympic cauldron this time for the sake of humanity and the environment.”

My Dad didn’t get the joke and looked at me like I was nuts.

- Speaking of the CBC, I’d always heard from my fellow Canadians that it provides better coverage of the Olympics than the Americans get with NBC. I’d never watched an opening ceremonies in its entirety before so I have no basis for comparison but I thought the CBC’s coverage this time around was very poor. It sounded like they were ill-prepared — like they were reading, on-the-fly, information provided to them in a press kit. They also completely ignored Lin Hao when the Chinese team made its entrance. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one wondering who the little kid was walking next to Yao Ming.

- Actually, I thought whoever directed the host feed provided, I believe, by CCTV could have done a better job. I think a bird’s eye view angle from atop the Bird’s Nest was needed to fully capture the grandeur of the ceremony. It wasn’t until I checked out China Daily’s photo gallery of the opening ceremonies that I realized the magnitude of the spectacle. I hope that the official DVD of the ceremonies (available from YesAsia) does a better job of capturing the amazing artistry.

- If I had another four hours to devote to watching the opening ceremonies, I wouldn’t mind watching TVB’s coverage. It’d be interesting to get the Hong Kong take on the spectacle. I sensed a distinct undercurrent of “yeah, it was great but they’re oppressing Tibet and they’ve got problems with human rights and the environment” in the coverage over here in the West.

- Many are voicing the opinion that this was the best Olympic opening ceremonies ever and that it will be impossible for London to top it in 2012. This sentiment reminded me of when I used to do the “this leading man/leading lady is leaving TVB” stories for my old website. I used to get e-mails saying TVB would never recover from the loss because this star or that star was a huge ratings force. TVB invariably did just fine and many of the stars who left, like Michael To Dai-Yu, eventually returned to TVB. Somehow, as technology progresses and people challenge themselves to rise above the standard set by Beijing, I think there will be an opening ceremony that meets or exceeds the one Zhang Yimou and company organized.

Image credits: Beijing New Picture Film Co. / Edko Film (CURSE OF THE GOLDEN FLOWER stills), China Daily (Opening ceremonies photos)

I was going to do a post about watching my first TVB series in many, many years but, for once, I thought I’d be timely and share a few thoughts on THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR.

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR
Official Site: http://www.themummy.com/
Director: Rob Cohen
Cast: Brendan Fraser (Rick O’Connell), Jet Li (Emperor Han), Maria Bello (Evelyn O’Connell), Michelle Yeoh (Zi Juan), Luke Ford (Alex O’Connell), Isabella Leong (Lin), Russell Wong (General Ming), Anthony Wong Chau-Sang (General Yang)

Synopsis (from Yahoo! Movies): Explorer Rick O’Connell to combat the resurrected Han Emperor in an epic that races from the catacombs of ancient China high into the frigid Himalayas. Rick is joined in this all-new adventure by son Alex, wife Evelyn and her brother, Jonathan. And this time, the O’Connells must stop a mummy awoken from a 2,000-year-old curse who threatens to plunge the world into his merciless, unending service. Doomed by a double-crossing sorceress to spend eternity in suspended animation, China’s ruthless Dragon Emperor and his 10,000 warriors have laid forgotten for eons, entombed in clay as a vast, silent terra cotta army. But when dashing adventurer Alex O’Connell is tricked into awakening the ruler from eternal slumber, the reckless young archaeologist must seek the help of the only people who know more than he does about taking down the undead: his parents. As the monarch roars back to life, our heroes find his quest for world domination has only intensified over the millennia. Striding the Far East with unimaginable supernatural powers, the Emperor Mummy will rouse his legion as an unstoppable, otherworldly force… unless the O’Connells can stop him first.

PRE-CONCEIVED NOTIONS: Due to a “life’s too short” situation, I haven’t seen the first two Mummy movies. I’ve always intended to see them as I like goofy action movies and Rachel Weisz but I’ve always had other things to do or other things I wanted to see. Quite simply, I just haven’t gotten around to watching the movies. Case in point, in anticipation of the August 1st release of THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR, I borrowed the DVDs for THE MUMMY and THE MUMMY RETURNS from my friend Roger. However, I got caught up watching episodes of THE MOLE that I recorded while I was away in Europe. (By the way, I think Craig is the mole.) As a result, I went into THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR completely cold — I had no idea about the back story of the O’Connells or the whole Mummy saga. I’m going to the movie mostly to check out the Hollywood debut of Isabella Leong and the work of Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh. Before I went to the theatre, the movie was sitting on a 9% rating over at Rotten Tomatoes so I was not expecting much.

AFTER THE MOVIE: Unlike the majority of the critics at Rotten Tomatoes, I don’t think the movie stinks. It’s not as bad as the 9% rating suggests but I wouldn’t go much higher than 49%. It’s a pleasant diversion that’s definitely not worth theatre money or even new release video rental money. It’s the type of movie you wait to watch on TV or save for when you need a movie to complete a “four for $10″ bundle deal at the video store. The action scenes are competent but uninspired and the comedy reminded me of some of the slapstick and wordplay that Jack Tripper did on THREE’S COMPANY — good for a small chuckle or slight smile but not much more.

MORE THOUGHTS: Before I get to my thoughts on Isabella Leong’s performance, I have to say that the one thing that really bothered me about the film was its depiction of 1940s Shanghai. I think the glamorous Shanghai shown in the movie died around 1937 after the Battle of Shanghai between the Japanese and the Kuomintang. If I recall my Chinese history correctly, by the 1940s, ballrooms and nightclubs were turned into places where people were being interrogated, tortured and killed. I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, I’m just saying that if you know your Chinese history, this is something that might stick in your craw during the movie — that and the notion of Brendan Fraser and Maria Bello being old enough to have a son that looks like Luke Ford.

Now, for the centrepiece of today’s post, how did Isabella Leong fare in her Hollywood debut? As a fan of HK entertainment, I always hope that an entertainment circle talent makes it big in Hollywood because, in a rising tide floats all boats sort of way, it invariably brings attention and exposure back to the HK entertainment industry. Therefore, it saddens me to say that Isabella Leong’s performance in THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR was unimpressive and, barring a huge stroke of fortune or favour, it’s unlikely she’ll develop a solid Hollywood career.

To make any sort of splash in Hollywood, a “foreign” actress has to give an outstanding performance that makes people run to their computers, go to IMDB or Google, and look up every thing they can find about her. I think this happened with Michelle Yeoh when POLICE STORY 3: SUPERCOP was released in North America and certainly when TOMORROW NEVER DIES came out. It definitely happened with Zhang Ziyi after CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON and, to a lesser extent, with Shu Qi and THE TRANSPORTER. The only thing that is distinctive about Isabella Leong’s work in THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR is that it is distinctly unremarkable. I don’t think too many people will be doing computer searches trying to find out who played “Michelle Yeoh’s daughter”. In fact, if there was a bookie who took action on this sort of thing, I’d bet that Jessey Meng (the actress who plays the dedicated girlfriend of Anthony Wong Chau-Sang’s General Yang) gets more Google/IMDB hits out of this movie than Isabella Leong.

I think the movie highlights the major flaw in Isabella Leong’s game: she has low screen charisma. She doesn’t have that intangible quality that makes viewers sit back and take notice. Her lack of screen magnetism is something I sensed in ISABELLA and I don’t think it improved with SPIDER LILIES even though a lesbian tattoo artist should have been a charismatic, attention-grabbing role. When she popped up for her cameo in SIMPLY ACTORS, it took me a couple of seconds to recognize her. It’s still early in her career but, if this was an election, the NBC News Decision Desk would be getting ready to declare that Isabella Leong has no screen presence.

With the exception of THE EYE 10 and MISSING, I believe I’ve seen all of Isabella Leong’s work and I can’t think of an instance where her screen chi pierces the screen, commands your attention and demands that you fixate your eyes on her. Most great actresses have at least one of those moments during their careers. I think I can safely say that Isabella Leong hasn’t had one yet. I’d be happy to be proven wrong about this so if anyone out there in HK entertainment nation can point out a moment that Isabella Leong captivates the viewer’s attention, I’d love to hear about it.

MISCELLANEA:

- If you are at all familiar with some of the intense work that Anthony Wong Chau-Sang has done in HK, it’s hard to accept him as a villain in THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR. Something in the way he delivers his lines in English robs him of his menace. I don’t know if you’d notice it if you haven’t seen his HK movies but, if you have, it’s quite noticeable. When he spoke for the first time in the movie, the three Chinese guys sitting two rows behind me laughed out loud. I knew what they were feeling because I was having a flashback to Wong’s goofy “all the world’s a stage” bit in SIMPLY ACTORS.

- There isn’t much to be said about Jet Li’s performance in the movie. To say that he “mailed it in” isn’t exactly accurate. I’d call it a “living off the fat of the land” situation. Over the past ten years, he’s established a reputation, a brand over here in the West and THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR is a case where he is harvesting the crop he first sowed back in 1998 with his work in LETHAL WEAPON 4. You can’t fault a guy for reaping the benefits of past hard work.

I will say I’m happy to see that, like the final fight scene in LETHAL WEAPON 4, it still takes more than one good guy to overpower a villainous Jet Li.

- Michelle Yeoh continues to show why she is the class of entertainment circle actresses working in Hollywood. In the hands of a lesser talent, the scene where she calls on the dead to rise up and fight would have seemed cheesy. Michelle Yeoh actually makes it seems kind of cool.

Also, going back to the Isabella Leong has no screen charisma discussion, the opening scenes for Michelle Yeoh in THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR define screen presence. Isabella Leong does not have that kind of screen magnetism and that’s why I don’t think she’ll make it in Hollywood.

Image credits: ABC (Craig from THE MOLE), Universal Pictures (Michelle Yeoh and Isabella Leong), MGM (Jessey Meng)