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I'm having trouble seeing the pictures on LoveHKFilm.com. For some reason, all I'm getting is a red "x" where there should be a photo. Can you fix your site, please?

LoveHKFilm.com utilizes something called "hotlink protection", which prevents outside websites from stealing bandwidth from the site. However, a side effect is that some computers with firewalls or high Internet security settings will block LoveHKFilm.com's pictures from being seen.

In layman's terms, hotlink protection takes a look at your browser to see what site you're visiting to figure out if it's okay to allow you to see LoveHKFilm.com's pictures. If you're looking at LoveHKFilm.com, no problem. If you're looking at the Xanga page for TwinsLuver113, then the pictures will be blocked. Easy enough to figure out.

If you're visiting LoveHKFilm.com and you are not able to see the graphics, then it's likely the fault of your firewall or Internet Security Program. What you need to do is check the privacy settings and allow LoveHKFilm.com access to your browser information. If you do that, then the pictures should be rendered viewable.

For Norton Internet Security users, there is a clickable tab for "Privacy Control." Click on that, and press the "configure" button. Your Privacy Control settings should be listed. You could always turn the settings off, but we don't recommend that. Instead, go to the "Advanced" settings. You should get a list of Web sites. If LoveHKFilm.com is not there, you can hit the "Add Site" button and add us. Then, scroll through the list and find LoveHKFilm.com. On the right, you should see the current settings. What you need to do is change it so that you PERMIT LoveHKFilm.com to obtain "information about visited sites." What it wants to know is: are you accessing LoveHKFilm.com through www.lovehkfilm.com or through www.xanga.com/twinsluvr12334.htm. That's all it needs to know. No malicious scripts or anything go on here, so you'll be safe. You should be able to see the pictures on the site, too.

If the above happens to you and you find it frustrating, then that's too bad. We suggest petting a kitten.

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How can I get in touch with (insert name here)? Do you have their e-mail address?

To contact your favorite HK celebrity, here's what you should do: sign a long-term contract with a major HK record label, i.e. EEG or GoEast. Get marketed and sent around to the various HK celebrity haunts, i.e. health food store or beauty salon openings, as well as movie premieres and industry parties. Get seen. Become an "It" person. Then you'll most likely get to meet your idol.

Seriously though: this web site has zero official affiliation with any Hong Kong celebrity or studio. And even if we did know how to contact certain HK celebrities, we would probably not be at liberty to divulge their personal information. But, I can pass along any personal messages the next time I hang at Lan Kwai Fong.

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Even if I did know Christopher Doyle I probably couldn't tell you how to contact him because that's his agent's job. So here's what you have to do: get in touch with Christopher Doyle's agent. As for how to do that, I have no idea. If I actually had a clue how to contact Christopher Doyle I would have done it already because of the sheer amount of e-mail I get from people asking me how to contact him. I would ask him, "What should I do with all this e-mail I get about how to contact you?" If he told me to trash it, I would. Who knows, maybe he'd actually ask me to pass it on, in which case you would get your wish.

But I don't know Christopher Doyle or his agent, so that would never happen.

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Hey, I heard this song once in this film. It happened at the part where the guy did that thing, and then this other thing happened, and it was really cool. Can you tell me the name of that song?

Sorry, no. As the people who work here (all of one of them) don't speak much Cantonese, the actual knowledge of songs and singers present is dangerously close to zero. Occasionally we might know the answer, but if so your best bet is still to post your question on the LoveHKFilm.com forum. If you post there, we might still answer your question -- plus your query will get seen by many, many other people who might have your answer. Consider this an axiom: asking 30 people a question is usually much more effective than asking only 1.

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Oh, about that song I asked about...could you send me an MP3 of it?

No. And this time we won't say sorry.

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What Hong Kong films would you guys recommend?

There is a "Recommended Films" page, which you can find here.

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Where can I buy Hong Kong DVDs and VCDs?

This is the Internet. You can get anything you want—if you look hard enough. There are a variety of online retailers who sell what you're looking for, and LoveHKFilm.com is affiliated with at least one. We usually recommend YesAsia.com, for reasons that would be obvious if you read deeper.

If you must have more variety, go to the Asian DVD Guide and look at the "Where to Buy" pages. That should get you going. Also, you can always try ebay. Everybody loves ebay.

For local help, our only suggestion is to do local web searches. If you have a Chinatown nearby that's always a good first step.

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Hey! Tell me where I can download Hong Kong movies for free! Come on, you guys must know!

Guess what? We actually don't know. And even if we did we wouldn't divulge that information because what you're talking about is piracy. And, as those who are privy to any sort of knowledge will tell you, piracy is wrong. And illegal. And bad for your health.

In saying the above, we do not wish to insult those who engage in piracy. However, the Hong Kong film industry has been hurt hard by the efforts of those who distribute intellectual property for free, and encouraging that practice is not something that we—or any other fan site—should do.

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Can you help me find [insert movie here]?

We'd love to help you find the movie you're looking for, but our knowledge is really nowhere near as extensive as the collective knowledge you'll find on the Internet. The best resource to find your favorite movies are other fans, who've likely done your legwork for you. We suggest checking out the various fansites AND MOST ESPECIALLY the forums, where many people will be only too happy to let you know what they know.

And again, there's always ebay.

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Can I request a review of [insert movie here]?

Sure, request away. Whether or not it actually happens cannot be guaranteed. One thing to keep in mind when requesting a particular film for review is that said film MAY NOT YET be available for viewing by anyone here. Sadly, LoveHKFilm.com is located in some backwater democracy called The United States, where first run Hong Kong movies can't even get second run play. On the rare occasion that a film can be seen while still in Hong Kong theaters, it will be a rarity of indescribable proportions.

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Why doesn't LoveHKFilm.com employ a rating system like "4 stars" or "two thumbs up?"

When this site was first conceived, such a rating system was neglected, which was an oversight, but not one we regret. In truth, the Webmaster feels rating scales do severe injustice to the films they purport to evaluate. Some films can be largely good, but still have some aspects which make their overall quality questionable. And, at the same time, there can be some films which are below-average, but may have one or two small redeeming qualities that make them nearly worthwhile. If both those films received the same two-star rating, would that be fair?

For those readers who would like a quick glimpse of a reviewer's thoughts, we suggest reading the "skinny," which can usually tell the reader what the reviewer thinks in twenty-five words or less.

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Can you guys institute a rating system? It would make my life easier.

Unlikely. Changing LoveHKFilm.com to a fully realized database is a common request, but as always we have to put our foot down. Sure, it'd be nice to have a simplified system for discovering recommended films, but the fact of the matter is this: there are over 1000 reviews on this web site. To go back and rate each film and then compare the ratings for consistency would be an an amazingly arduous task. Such a site redesign would require lots of time and/or money, neither of which is in large supply around here.

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Can I get some travel tips to Hong Kong?

If you need tips on where to go in Hong Kong, your first stop should be Discover Hong Kong, the official site of the Hong Kong Tourism board.

Otherwise, you're free to e-mail the Webmaster here and ask for any personalized tips. Please keep in mind, his e-mail box is usually full, so if you're leaving this weekend, forget about getting a response. Also, HE DOES NOT know where the stars live or hang out, and he's a fervent advocate against celebrity stalking. If you have a hankering to follow your favorite idol around Hong Kong, we suggest you take up a different hobby, like perhaps birdwatching.

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What's the best place to buy DVDs in Hong Kong?

Well, you can pretty much buy DVDs everywhere, though you might have an easier time at some retailers than others. By far the most user-friendly way to get DVDs is at the numerous HMV stores, which include branches in Tsimshatsui, Central and Causeway Bay. However, prices there are usually not the best. If anything, you're paying for the clean, commercial atmosphere and lack of people screaming Cantonese in your ear.

If low prices are your thing, go here: Sai Yeung Choi Street in Mongkok. Get off at the Mongkok MTR station and just head a block over the Sai Yeung Choi Street. You should be able to find 3-4 cheaper DVD stores there.

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How can I contribute to LoveHKFilm.com?

If you're interested in contributing to LoveHKFilm.com, you can check out the Support Page, which outlines where, how, and why LoveHKFilm.com receives its backing. It's also home to more deadpan attempts at humor, though where this web site is concerned, that's pretty much a given.

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Can I become a writer for LoveHKFilm.com?

Uh...maybe. Once upon a time LoveHKFilm.com was actively recruiting reviewers, but nowadays, taking on extra writers would only increase the workload of the Webmaster, who simply does not possess the time that he used to.

In the future it may be possible for the site to take on other writers, and those with true interest in actually writing for the site are free to send in their writing samples irregardless. We just can't promise a timely and/or satisfactory response.

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You guys get DVDs for free, don't you?

No. Despite having at least one DVD-selling affiliate, LoveHKFilm.com DOES NOT receive free DVDs for review. Once upon a time, we did receive maybe five (5) DVDs per month, but those days have since gone the way of 8-track tapes, the dinosaur and movies starring Yuen Biao. Basically, it just doesn't happen anymore.

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Are Kozo and the Webmaster the same person?

Yes.

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It really pisses me off that Kozo is always mean to Ekin Cheng.

That's not a question. Next!

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Why does Kozo hate Ekin Cheng?

Kozo does not hate Ekin Cheng. In fact, he actually likes him, and makes an effort to see his films. Still, Ekin Cheng has become the unofficial whipping boy of this web site, and how that came to be is a mystery that cannot be easily answered. If you'd like a partial explanation on the topic, please check out this column which will hopefully illuminate matters.

For the record, there are many, many, many Hong Kong personalities that Kozo cares less for than Ekin Cheng.

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Why is Kozo so mean to Wong Jing?

Wong Jing is Hong Kong's most notorious and prolific shlockmeister, and his films are typically crass, pandering and creatively bankrupt. At the same time, he's a guy that enjoys movies, and he's actually made some pretty entertaining popcorn fare (The God of Gamblers series, for one). Kozo is mean to Wong Jing because he's arguably an enemy to good filmmaking, though he's certainly churned out more than his fair share of hits. Whether or not moviegoer dollars are reason enough to stop making fun of him is a subjective matter, and not one which will stop Kozo from ripping on Wong Jing. If Wong Jing started making movies like Johnnie To (or even Wilson Yip), it's likely that Kozo would cease his negative comments.

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Why do you guys hate everything? And why are you so negative?

We don't hate everything. Please read more carefully. And, if that doesn't help you, go to the Recommended Films section. Recommended films are by definition liked by the reviewer, otherwise it would not even be a recommended film. For a website to hate everything and yet still recommend films would be a phenomenon that is metaphysically impossible.

Also, if any negativity in these pages upsets you then we are truly sorry. Still, we'd like to point out that the words contained within these pages are ALL JUST WORDS, and they're meant to inform first, and entertain second. The negativity itself is more tongue-in-cheek than serious ranting on the state of Hong Kong cinema—basically it's all in good fun. Please do not misunderstand.

Still, if negative energy is unavoidable on your part, we would suggest you channel it towards more positive efforts, like the ending of world hunger, or perhaps cleaning up your room. At the very least, your parents will thank you.

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Do you have any naked pictures of Shu Qi? Can you send them to me?

Hey check out this wicked screensaver! The previous link will lead to a virus which will destroy your desktop and render your computer unusable for future generations, not to mention your kid brother, who now will be prevented from "pwning" someone in "Counterstrike."

There are some questions which simply should not be asked. This is one of them. Please ask a different question.

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What the hell is wrong with you people?

We wish we knew the answer to that question too, but sadly, we don't. And besides, in all likelihood, you should be asking yourself the exact same question.