A few days ago, I posted about a recent Korean drama ludicrously entitled A Man Called God, which I saw in a DVD bin while hanging out with LoveHKFilm.com forum moderator, Wongsaurus. During our misadventures in Chinatown, we stopped at Red’s Place, and I was introduced to Helen, the bartender.

According to Wongsaurus, she said I looked like Takeshi Kaneshiro, and I heartily thanked her for the compliment.

“Whatever. I’m totally better looking.”

And when it comes to comparing a person to someone famous, that’s really how you’re supposed to do it. If you think a person you meet resembles a celebrity, I’ve always believed you should only mention it if that celebrity is generally considered to be handsome/pretty.

Believe me: “You know who you look like? Jabba the Hutt” is never a good icebreaker.

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In the early press releases for John Woo’s Red Cliff, it was announced that the film would be split in half for Asian audiences. Part I was almost two-and-a-half hours long, while Part II was only slightly shorter than that. With the split-release of Kill Bill already well behind us, this announcement was certainly nothing new, and I’m sure most John Woo fans were glad that he wouldn’t have to compromise his vision by cutting his film to fit a conventional theatrical running time. However, that wasn’t the only announcement that was made in regard to the film’s release. It was also mentioned that there would be an American version of the film, one that would run only two-and-a-half hours total. For purists, this probably seemed heretical, and for the rest of us, it just seemed odd. How can you squeeze over four hours of story into a movie that’s only a little over half its original running time?

Well, while watching the first installment of Red Cliff I became convinced that it could be done. Later, I watched Red Cliff II and started to have other ideas, but whatever my reservations, I’ll transcribe my thoughts on how to rework the first installment for your amusement.

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