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February 21st, 2003


Milestones -
or "Three Things I Hate About You"

     Reminder: Life with Kozo is self-indulgent blather about the Webmaster and the various goings-on which constitute that which he calls his life. It's not gospel of any sort, nor is it meant to have an importance beyond the usual ones and zeros which make up the zippy information superhighway. It's just good, clean fun which hopefully does not require profanity or civil lawsuits.
     That said, we have something important to discuss here. is approaching—or has already achieved—three milestones of varying importance. We'll announce them from most important to least important, and make appropriate comments along the way.
     MILESTONE #1: LoveHKFilm is one year old.
     The specific timeframe is unknown. Given the fact that both the webhosting and domain names for required renewing, we've realized the truth: it's now been one year since the whole thing came about. We shudder at what has transpired since.
     The reasons for creating this site have been bandied about in numerous places, and I usually use the opportunities for whatever snarky remark comes to mind. In truth, I created this website because I could. Thanks to the magic of downsizing, I had plenty of time on my hands, and lots of film reviews (and Ekin Cheng jokes) stored up. It was a no-brainer.
     Now one year later, I sit back and marvel at what has occurred: absolutely nothing. I still am out of work, and I still make Ekin Cheng jokes.
     Okay, I'm kidding. I sort of have work (or will have it), and the site has gone from nothing to the 753rd most popular Hong Kong Cinema website on the World Wide Web, which is more a guess than an actual statistic. As such, I feel pretty good about it. I've met people and have many people to thank, including all the site reviewers, my parents, and the guy who dropped his wallet containing $500 in unmarked bills. My gratitude is bottomless.
     But, I would mostly like to thank the readers, who have ranged from blindly complimentary to just plain mean. On some level, I realize that this site does some good in that it gives back to the online Hong Kong Cinema community. My personal interest would not be where it is now if it weren't for Ryan Law, Joseph Fierro, Jerry Chan, Sanney Leung, Shelly Kracier, Laura Irvine, Tim Youngs, Brian Nass, Yvonne Teh and many other fine people who I can't possibly begin to mention.
    The above people have done untold good for a guy like me. The online resources created by others were integral in fostering whatever interest I had in HK Film. Now I can hopefully do the same for someone else. And hopefully that person can take over and allow me to pursue my true be a lumberjack!
     But there should be other thanks too. Lee Wong deserves a great deal as the site's first reviewer and best cheerleader. And in some ways we should also thank LaserLand Home Theater. If it weren't for LaserLand Home Theater and their decision to release the Webmaster from five years of indentured servitude, there would not be a And, if it weren't for the terrible office politics and bad blood which accompanied the loss of employment, the Webmaster would not have his keen sense of bitterness and/or humor.
     Well, maybe that's not entirely true, but the fan of should thank LaserLand Home Theater, because if they hadn't gotten rid of me, I wouldn't have had the time to create this site. So, if you can, please thank them.
      However, on a related note, please consider carefully when deciding what to do with your purchasing dollars.
     MILESTONE #2: is nearing the 900 review mark.
     At last count, we were at 897 reviews, but that figure is the review count. If were were to count the intro for Battle Royale, we could say we have 898 reviews. And, if we included the two which consisted of only one sentence (The Killer and Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon), we could say that we have 900 reviews already. Yes, this is just like how Hollywood reports their weekend grosses.
     In actuality, there are only 881 films reviewed on this site, which means just that: 881 films reviewed and counting. The "897 reviews" figure is totally true, but also misleading. We apologize if this knowledge upsets anyone. Really.
     However, that may not be enough. If you feel we have deceived you to the point of emotional damage, we will settle with you right after that silly McDonald's class action lawsuit gets taken care off. If somebody out there can prove that it's McDonald's fault that they're overweight, then somebody can probably hold us accountable for having only 881 films reviewed instead of the 897 they thought we did.
     Otherwise, look forward to review number 1000. And probably 1012, after which I'll sell my shares in and launch a new website on the wit and wisdom of Ekin Cheng. Chances are I'll get far more traffic, as well as real money for my troubles. Hell, Ekin Cheng may even speak to me again.
     MILESTONE #3: As of today, February 21st, 2003, the Webmaster is thirty years old.
     Yes, thirty years ago I was born somewhere in upstate New York. In that time, I have seen numerous films, be they Hong Kong or not, and I have been witness to the glorious occasion that was Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie. I've also traveled to numerous countries, attended a total of four colleges, sampled at least eight different types of curry, and had the indignity of having my contact lens shatter in my eye. In Alaska, no less. If that's not a story to tell, what is?
     I've also seen my favorite baseball player get banned for gambling on the sport, and my favorite basketball player get suspended for choking his coach. I would have a favorite football player, but given my track record I'm afraid the guy will make like Billy Blanks in The Last Boy Scout and use a 9mm to score a touchdown. And if I had a favorite hockey player we could be witness to the first on-ice decapitation.
     I've also had numerous people fall in and out of my life. Some of the circumstances I regret, some I don't. Some I laugh at because they were incredibly silly, and some I'm saddened by because they were incredibly stupid. On a barely-related note, there was a time in Hong Kong where I had my first and only experience with love at first sight. The girl was my waitress at the Hard Rock Cafe. Coincidentally, I ran into her two hours later at a VCD store in Tsimshatsui. Not coincidentally, I went back to the Hard Rock Cafe two days later. Happily and seemingly by her design, she was again my waitress. Sadly, I did nothing.
     But, turning thirty doesn't really bother me like I thought it would. Perhaps it's because I have no doubt that my thirties will be much better than my twenties. I now know more about what I wish to do with my life, and about who I might actually be. I also know who I would like to associate with, and who I wouldn't. I know what I might like to find in someone else, and hopefully what someone else might like to find in me. And I know the locations of all 100 hidden packages in Grand Theft Auto: Vice City.
     And I know what type of movies I love, which at this point still appears to be Hong Kong movies.
     So, I would ask the loyal reader to look forward to the next year of, and the next 900 reviews.
And, I would ask any friends of mine to look forward to the next thirty years. Of course, at that time running will probably be the farthest thing from my mind, but hopefully some of the people I know now won't be.
     And hopefully I'll still love Hong Kong film.

- Kozo 02/21/2003

  Life with Kozo

The Featured Graphic
One Piece by Eichiro Oda, featured weekly in the Japanese manga anthology Shonen Jump, is currently Japan's best-selling manga. The series is aimed primarily at boys, and mixes comedy, action and righteous posturing like you wouldn't believe. The manga is still going strong at over 25 volumes, and has spawned a hit anime, toys, games, books and other shameless merchandizing. One Piece has recently made the move stateside courtesy of Viz Comics, which seralizes the manga in the North America-distributed monthly Shonen Jump magazine. Funimation currently owns the US rights to the anime. The Webmaster likes One Piece.

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