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Life
with Kozo - June 13th, 2003
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In a
break from the usual Webmaster rantings, this new edition
of Life with Kozo
will feature testimonials from a number of noted individuals.
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| Why is Kozo
reviewing fewer movies? |
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"His
ego has grown too big. I understand what it's like to
be popular; you need discipline. He just has to learn
how to balance his celebrity with his work. I expect him
to start writing more when he gets out of rehab."
- Anita Mui |
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"Quantity
doesn't matter—it's the quality of his work! In the
last ten years I've only made one movie: Winner Takes
All! Everyone knows that was a cinema classic! I think
Kozo should write one review a year!" - Karl Maka |
| Does Kozo like
his new job? |
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"He
better like it! I could tell him what it's like to compromise
your art for money! Do you think I like playing wacky
psychos and rapists all the time? I do it because I have
to! I really wanted to be a lumberjack!"
- Simon Yam |
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"I don't
think it matters. Sometimes you have no choice but to
get a new job. Look at me: I was once the biggest actress
in Hong Kong. Now I work at KFC."
- Anita Yuen |
| Is Kozo raking
in bank? |
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"Probably
not. All Kozo does is sit around, watch stuff and then
type up some crap. Any Form 4 student could do that! Besides,
I don't make anything, and I reveal points for a living!"
- Sophie Ngan |
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"He
must be! How else could he waste so much time doing something
so useless as LoveHKFilm.com? Some of us actually have
to work! It's good that I'm a debonair, handsome movie
star. It makes life easier."
- Alfred Cheung |
| Why does Kozo
hate Ekin Cheng? |
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"I don't
think Kozo hates him. I think he just likes to tease Ekin.
I like to tease Ekin too. In fact, I'll tease anyone who's
not as beautiful as I am. I don't have many friends."
- Michelle Reis |
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"Hey,
I hate him too. Doesn't everyone hate Ekin Cheng?"
- Stephen Fung |
| How's Kozo's
social life? |
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"It
must be going pretty well, because whenever I ask him
to hang out, he turns me down, and hey—I'm a pretty
cool dude. What's that? Yes, I always wear this hat."
- Aaron Kwok |
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"It
must be tough being in a new town and all, but I'm sure
he's making the best of it. I've offered to visit to cheer
him up, but he says he's too busy to see me. I think he's
gay."
- Gillian Chung |
Does Kozo really
like Sammi that much? |
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"Like
I care! What I want to know is why he doesn't like me
as much as Sammi. Heck, why doesn't everyone like me as
much as Sammi? I'm younger, cuter, and have a greater
upside. And I come in a package deal."
- Charlene Choi |
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"I don't
think so. If he did, he wouldn't be asking me out all
the time. I already told him that I only go for guys who
speak Mandarin. Besides, I hate guys with Ekin Cheng hair."
- Stefanie Sun Yan-Zi |
| What did you
think of Matrix Reloaded? |
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"I don't
get it! They took four years to make that film. What could
take that long? All my movies took less than two weeks
to make, and we made them up on the spot! It was my idea
to give myself nude scenes."
- Billy Lau |
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"My
mouth is stuck like this after seeing The Matrix Reloaded!
Those freaking special effects were awesome! I may never
eat solid food again!"
- Sam Lee |
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| How's
Kozo doing? |
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"He
must be doing really bad, because he doesn't make sense
anymore. The other day he saw me and screamed 'Buckwheat!'
Then he ran away really fast. I don't know what's wrong
with that boy."
- Maggie Cheung |
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"Kozo? He's my boy!
That's right, dawg! We're tight, yo! He's one chilly
customer, that Kozo. That's right, the Ed Is On! Ed
has mad skillz!" - Edison Chen
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| How does Kozo
feel about his site? |
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"I think
he likes his site because he's always working on it. I
would never do anything that I didn't like. Well, I didn't
like Naked Weapon. And I thought For Bad Boys
Only was crap too. Hell, maybe Kozo hates his web
site." - Anya |
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"Who
gives a sh*t about his site? That f*ck*r just threw a
brick at me for making The Peeping! I'm going to
open up a can of wushu whup-ass on Kozo! Damn you, Naked
Weapon was good!"
- Daniel Wu |
| Can he get me
in touch with Shu Qi? |
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"I sure
hope so. That girl hasn't talked to me in ages. Everyone
likes to talk about how she's my 'rumored girlfriend',
but she never returns my calls. Is she still pissed at
me for Dream of a Warrior?" - Leon Lai |
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"No...but
I could! I could also get you in touch with Cecilia Cheung
and her plastic surgeon. Man, that guy does great work!
I would ask him to work on me, but why mess with a perfect
thing?"
- Jordan Chan |
| Kozo isn't quitting,
is he? |
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"I'd
like him to quit! Maybe if he stops ripping on my movies,
I can once again charm audiences with my delightful filmmaking
skills. If it weren't for all of Kozo's crap, I'd have
made four more Raped by an Angel movies."
- Wong Jing |
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"He
shouldn't quit. If I've learned anything from quitting,
it's that you totally lose popularity. One day when he's
unknown and stops getting hate mail, he'll regret it!
I know I do."
- Charlie Young |
| Is Kozo angry
all the time? |
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"I feel
so sorry for that boy. He has so much pent up anger. I
think he's going to lose it and start hating every Korean
movie he sees too. That would be just awful."
- Law Lan |
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"F*ck
Kozo! I'm angry all the time!" - Nicholas
Tse |
Why the name 'Kozo'? |
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"Kozo
is a much cooler name than the one he's got. If I were
named after one of the characters on 'Friends', I'd totally
change my name. Plus, Kozo is a Japanese name. Japanese
people kick ass!"
- Takeshi Kaneshiro |
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"I think
it's a great stage name. It's different and unusual, and
gives the audience a certain feeling. My name also does
that. When people think of me, they think of stuff that's
drippy, wet, and ruins picnics." - Rain Li |
| Can Kozo stop
being mean to Ekin? |
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"I would
like him to, but it just wouldn't be fair. After all,
I roast him every chance I get! I based my dopey character
in My Wife is Eighteen on Kozo, except he could
never get an eighteen year-old wife! And my hair is better."
- Ekin Cheng |
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"Is
this question going to get me an acting award? No? Then
why should I bother answering? Don't waste my time with
this crap! Next question!"
- Tony Leung Chiu-Wai |
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*DISCLAIMER:
the testimonials on this page were entirely made up. The reader
is responsible
for what he or she chooses to believe. LoveHKFilm.com
and its associated parties will bear no responsibility
for an individual's gullibility, even if that individual possesses
obviously poor skills of perception.
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| LoveHKFilm.com
Copyright ©2002-2017 Ross Chen |
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