22nd , 2003
the King of the World
publishes its 1000th review. Truly, this is a milestone to
be treasured. Banners will be unfurled, children will weep,
and the entire universe will slow to a crawl as everyone takes
notice of our grand accomplishment. Sammi Cheng turned 31
just three days ago. But who cares? There are 1000 reviews
on this website! Who cares what else is going on in this world
when I can pat myself on the back? What can be said of such
In the immortal words of Derrick
Coleman, "Whoop de damn doo."
The statistical measure of this
site's reviews began because one day I was bored and decided
to count them. Back then, the site had less than 600 reviews,
with at least 500 bearing my byline (of the current total,
I've only written slightly over 800. LunaSea, Sanjuro, Magicvoice
and RainDog account for the other 200). I used to tell myself
that I'd quit when the site reached 1000 reviews.
Well…we aren't quitting. Yet.
But if we do, the most ardent Hong Kong fan will have many,
many places to go. Hong
Kong Entertainment News in Review is amazing, as is the
usually unheralded HK
Top Ten site. Hong
Kong Digital and Hong Kong
Cinema - View from the Brooklyn Bridge still review their
share of old and new films, many of which are just seeing
their release on DVD. There's Kung
Fu Cinema, which mixes news and reviews nicely. City
on Fire has a decidedly irreverent slant for those seeking
Better Tomorrow keeps people updated on DVD releases,
as does the popular Asian
DVD Guide. Plus there are the upstart sites, which seem
to arrive as quickly as old ones fade out. There are even
some sites that I don't like, but I won't mention them here.
This doesn't mean that sites
not mentioned are ones I don't likeon the contrary,
there are many unmentioned websites that I'm genuinely fond
of. However, in the interests of space and fairness, I've
decided not to list the names of every site that I actually
like. If I did, then the sites that didn't get mentioned could
automatically assume that they're on the "disliked"
list. And there's no one we truly dislike. Even usual site
whipping boy Wong Jing gets his occasional props, and WE DO
LIKE EKIN CHENG! Don't get started with us there. We also
never lie, cheat, steal or engage in any sort of facetious
commentary. We at LoveHKFilm.com
want to make this clear: we love everybody everywhere unconditionally.
But hey, back to topic number
one: 1000 reviews. It's a minor, unimportant thing in this
world. Getting your yearly teeth cleaning ranks waaaay higher
on the scale of importance than the 1000th review on LoveHKFilm.com,
and I would never debate that. There's no reason for me to
believe that 1000 reviews is such a big deal. It's not like
I created all the movies I've seen, or exercised my prodigious
talents to put together so many pages of 1st grade level HTML.
I just watched movies and wrote stuff about them. As some
readers are quick to point out, a monkey with a typewriter
and a week's supply of bananas could accomplish what I have.
is no big deal.
And hey, I'm really screwing
up! The movies I review aren't new enoughisn't that
a rip off to my readers? I make too much fun of Ekin Cheng!
How could I not understand and see the magical charisma of
Edison Chen? How dare I profit off the hard work of so many
other people? Numerous actors, directors, writers, web designers
and harried accountants have sweated blood and tears so I
may ridicule their work online. How dare I disregard those
people, or even make fun of them? Who the hell am I?
Well, obviously I'm nobody.
But to be clear on that, let's talk about me. As everybody
in the universe knows, me is the most important topic of all
time. Me just happens to be different for each individual.
I currently work at a video
game developer. I try to work hard, but my inexperience in
the field makes things difficult. I have a zillion ideas and
a zillion opinions, but I don't have the proper training to
express them. As the low man on the totem pole, I can't tell
people what I think would work. I've accomplished nothing.
All I can do is plug away, and if somebody likes what I do,
then yay. If they don't, I should shut up and say nothing.
I can't really defend my ideas, because I have no practical
experience. Sometimes at the end of the day, everything I've
done has been scrapped or thrown in the figurative paper shredder
(the Recycle Bin on my Windows desktop), so in effect I accomplished
nothing that day. Nothing tangible has been created. I might
as well have been playing Solitaire on my desktop. If nothing
I do has any impact, then why should I bother?
The same thing applies to this
site. If I'm not out there changing the world or making a
difference, shouldn't I just pack it in? Sure, I help some
retailers sell more DVDs, which gives the retailer dough and
the viewer (hopefully) a fine time at the movies. On the other
hand, I also steer a lot of people from certain films, and
for that many retailers would probably want me dead or at
least partially disabled. I wasn't much help in the Shaolin
Soccer argument/flame war. My opinion of that was I didn't
care for the dubbed Disney version (it has since been recalled
thanks to "disastrous" test screenings), but I never
went out of my way to say that other people shouldn't see
the film. People could see it if they wanted to, and I didn't
feel the need to censure them for it. The film's ultimate
success or failure was not something I could predict. Admittedly,
my stance was not a very passionate one, but it's what I honestly
felt. I believe somebody somewhere called me a dumbass as
Which brings me back to the
topic I always talk about: why the hell do I do the website?
Obviously, I annoy more than my share of people because they
don't hesitate to write to tell me about it. Nothing warms
my heart more than seeing myself referred to as "this
guy" on certain forums. Usually that phrase is followed
by "always makes fun of Ekin Cheng" or "hates
everything." It's wonderful that people care so much
about how I feel about things. As they most likely believe,
I'm nobody, so why should my opinion even matter? Is it so
important that I'm nobody that they must go out of their way
to tell me I'm nobody, or post on a forum saying that I'm
nobody? Can't other people figure out that I'm nobody by themselves?
But I'm exaggerating. Not very
many people really take the time to censure or insult me.
My detractors are fewer than the well-wishers who've written
in complimenting my work. The criticisms are a minority to
the compliments, and the vocal are a mere fraction of the
people that actually read LoveHKFilm.com
(or at least come to the site to steal the pictures). Even
all the well-wishers are a virtual cipher in the grand scheme
of the LoveHKFilm.com
thing. And LoveHKFilm.com
means very little in respect to the online HK world, which
includes the fine sites listed above AND the Hong
Kong Movie Database created and maintained by Mr. Ryan
Law, whose greatness I could never equal. Heck, my site isn't
even dynamic! It might as well be scribbled in a notebook.
Yes, 1000 reviews on LoveHKFilm.com
means absolutely nothing, and 2000 reviews will be just as
meaningless. In a world where Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez
are more exciting and interesting than civil unrest and human
injustices, 1000 reviews is proverbial horse manure. It's
something to scrape off the bottom of your shoe. Whoever you
are, wherever you are, I ask you this question: What's more
1000th review, or the $5 you magically found in your pants
pocket? You thought you lost it, and it probably ruined your
day, but suddenly you find it tucked in the corner of your
pocket. That's $5! It's a trip to the bargain movie theater
or an ice-cold Frappucino and Rice Krispy treat at Starbucks!
It's three subway rides! One-and-half comic books! Five bootleg
VCDs! If your priorities are in order, you should realize
the truth: whatever you feel right now is of far greater importance
than anything out there. Look out for number one.
So hey, as far as I'm concerned,
reaching 1000 reviews is totally awesome. Woohoo! We rule.