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Review
by Kozo: |
So far 2007 has given us two mahjong movies. Unfortunately,
both movies have been less than stellar, with an option
an full-on bad. Unlike the TVB-loaded Kung Fu Mahjong
3, House of Mahjong presents a familiar cast
of Hong Kong Cinema faces, and teams them with director
Marco Mak, whose output has usually been average to
at least semi-decent. Unfortunately, House of Mahjong
isn't one of Mak's better efforts; the film does nothing
new, and provides the usual routine mahjong film stuff
in an uninteresting and even unfathomable manner. The
result: a sub-par motion picture that should only be
seen by star-gawking completists or those whose fascination
with Taiwan mahjong is so strong as to be frightening.
If that sounds like you, then House of Mahjong
may be your cup of tea. But if you're not a crazy fan
of mahjong or one of these stars, then House of Mahjong may cause nausea, and possibly projectile vomiting.
The simple message: this is a bad movie.
Still with us? We'll see
how long that lasts once we start talking about the
film. House of Mahjong mainly takes place at
the Wealth Plaza, a crappy little mall with no apparent
foot traffic and little in the way of attractive retail
shops. No matter, it's still the beloved residence of
such off-the-wall characters as Beauty Lam (Dayo Wong),
a bra salesperson whose dedication to his job is so great that he absolutely refuses to sell inappropriate bras to his customers.
Joining him in retail hell are paper salesman Prophet
(Cheung Tat-Ming), goldfish hawker Sam (Sam Lee), and
sisters Hung (Candy Lo) and Ling (Elanne Kong), who
run a cafe.
Mahjong comes into play because their landlord,
elderly fellow Chiu (Ha Chun-Chau) allows his tenants
to pay off their rent through Taiwan mahjong games,
which we learn about in a funny opening sequence as
Hung, Sam, and Prophet attempt to cheat Chiu at the
table. Seeing the three cheating at mahjong is actually
quite funny, as their chicanery is both creative and
sometimes surprising. If House of Mahjong can
sustain that level of amusement, then maybe the movie
might turn out all right.
Nope, before long the
movie takes an extreme quality nosedive, leading to
an interminable experience that could make an Andy Warhol
film feel like the work of Michael Bay. The crappy hijinks
start when the lovely Gigi (Rain Li) shows up at the
mall and opens her own facial shop. The problem is her
comely presence distracts Beauty, Prophet, and Sam,
which leads to rampant jealousy from Hung and Ling.
Gigi also looks like old Chiu's deceased wife, which
is a detail of absolutely no consequence. Oddly, that
subplot seems to waste a good twenty minutes of screentime,
which should be enough time for a decent-sized bathroom
break.
An actual plot rears its head when Chiu's son
(Raymond Wong) gets pissed at the residents and decides
he wants them out. This leads to, naturally, a mahjong
tournament, with hidden mahjong master Lo Mong-Tak (Matthew
Chow) hired to make the Wealthy Plaza residents lose
their shirts at the table. Cue an hour-long series of
mahjong training, games, and screwy around-the-table
wackiness that's supposed to be funny, but turns out
to be mostly tired and uninteresting. We'll elaborate
below.
First of all, House
of Mahjong is incredibly incoherent, possessing
a series of random plotlines inhabited by completely
nonsensical characters. The film features two-and-a-half
love triangles centering around Rain Li's character,
but none of the relationships are worth the audience's
time or interest. The mahjong scenes, while punctuated
with occasional blood-spewing or surprising sexual innuendo,
are largely unfathomable because they pull out three
trillion supposedly awesome hands of mahjong, all of
which probably mean nothing to those not versed in Taiwanese
mahjong's Byzantine rules.
What's left then are the
performances, which are routine. Everyone overacts and
makes funny faces, and nobody really seems to be having
that good a time, save perhaps Matthew Chow, who tackles
his badguy role with almost disturbing gusto, and Dayo
Wong, who as usual seems to be amusing himself more
than anyone else. Marco Mak directs in an amazingly
tension-free manner, such that nothing feels that crucial
or important. The final nail in the coffin is the epic
cheapness of the production, which is notable for the
spartan sets (Wealth Plaza seems abandoned) and the
crappy cinematography, which is flat and inconsistent.
Are you after quality cinema? Then don't go here.
Granted, it's Lunar New
Year time, when it's usual to find slapdash cinema full
of barely-developed love triangles, loaded gambling,
and wacky inconsequential nonsense. Audiences are expected
to go to the cinema and enjoy a stress-free brain-dead
time, and House of Mahjong certainly seems eager
to fit that definition. The problem is it can barely
attain even that low standard, and doesn't bring enough
energy, surprise, or star power to the table to compensate
for its essential lameness. Thanks to Kung Fu Mahjong
3 and this film, 2007 has gotten off to an alarmingly
bad start, making us feel a lot more frustrated than
we'd like to be. Can't anyone think up better stuff
to attract audiences than these tired genre retreads?
Even when House of Mahjong does pull out a funny
joke or a tense moment, it's usually sandwiched between
numerous lackluster jokes or hijinks that feel more
lazy and rushed than creative or thought-out. Since
so few films are made nowadays, you'd think they could
maybe spend a few extra minutes thinking about what
they're putting onscreen. Sadly, that doesn't seem to
be happening, meaning we should all stay home and rewatch God of Gamblers or Fat Choi Spirit than
attempt to enjoy the meager positives of either House
of Mahjong or Kung Fu Mahjong 3. Some people
out there may disagree, but Hong Kong Cinema needs to
do better than this right now. (Kozo 2007) |
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