Hey, a blog entry! This doesn’t happen very often, so I intend to enjoy it, which means more pointless self-deprecation and references to the site being irrelevant. No offense, but pretty much all movie websites are irrelevant because they’re about movies. Sorry to burst that bubble.

“He’s talking about this crap again?
I’m a second away from a facepalm.”

We’re nearing the end of LoveHKFilm.com’s 10th year online, a milestone that has come with many broken promises and few actual events. The good stuff first: we completed both our Top 100 Hong Kong Movies of the Eighties reader vote and also the 2012 LoveHKFilm Awards. Good on us for actually doing what we said we would.

A random person claps for this website’s accomplishments.

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Another year of Hong Kong Cinema means another year of the LoveHKFilm Awards (link to the amazing archive of previous awards), dedicated to recognizing the best, worst and weirdest movies out of Hong Kong every year. Entertainment industry professionals undoubtedly look forward to our choices.

“Hey, LoveHKFilm.com! I got one finger for you, and it isn’t this one!”

This is the fifth year that LoveHKFilm.com has run its awards using a jury of individuals. Despite the unofficial nature of these awards, everyone who’s a part of the jury makes an effort to see most if not all the films, frequently trading DVDs and VCDs towards the end of the year. People in the jury will actually buy a copy of stuff they normally wouldn’t buy, like BUTTERFLY LOVERS or WONDER WOMEN, and pass them around so that people can see what they missed. Such dedication and/or masochism is to be commended.

“I’m just pretending to pay attention.”

Also, the jury takes movies seriously. We watch them and we honestly discuss them. There are biases and blindspots like in any process based on opinion, but the group doesn’t cater to a single type of movie watching. Not everyone is an art film fan or a genre geek, and we actually try to recognize the gaps between films and audiences when making our selections. It’s not a process that wins friends and influences people, but it’s the way things have worked out.

(more…)

Hey everyone, it’s a blog entry! Remember when we used to do this every two weeks or so? Now we’re looking at a two year gap. It’s simply awful, but now we’re back. Yay!

“Do I look like I care about your stupid blog?
When Jackie reads, nothing else matters!”

Since I haven’t done this in a while, this will be a big blog entry with highlights of what’s coming up on the site, plus some “how did we end up here” navel-gazing. Since self-reflection is undoubtedly tiresome, the promises and other highlights come first. Even better, it’ll happen in bullet points. If I could draw up an infographic, I would.

(more…)

Complain all you want, he still can’t hear you.

“It’s all pops and buzzes from here, dawg.”

Edison is a bad role model. If we did things his way, we would gladly ignore any and all criticism, and would classify those who criticize us as “haters” a.k.a. “people who don’t agree with me, and thus are terrible or awful because of it.” When you think about it, Edison is actually a prime example of the Internet generation: poor English standards, bad perspective and overwhelmingly in love with himself. At least he’s good with a camera.

Bringing this back a bit, LoveHKFilm.com and the powers-that-run-it have received a fair amount of criticism over the years. I try to look at the good side: going on ten years online, LoveHKFilm.com has long outlived what I thought would be its usefulness. It’s done a great deal for me, and supposedly it’s done a good deal for others too. At least, that’s what the email I get tells me.

At the same time, my email also tells me that the site has annoyed and even offended some, and I do take those complaints seriously. Still, I eventually have to decide if the complaints are fair and have merit, or if they come from people who are operating from a limited if not selfish perspective. It would help if I could read minds, but I don’t seem to be able to do that. Yet.

The last time I updated Damn You, Kozo was over a year ago. In that time, LoveHKFilm.com has taken numerous vacations and the site blogs have become rather quiet. Something needs to change. LoveHKFilm.com has a focus, limited and unpopular though it may be. Damn You, Kozo needs a focus too. As soon as I figure out what it is, I’ll do it.

In the meantime, this blog will reopen with occasional posts. Michael Wells of the Everyone Likes Movies blog will be contributing some guest posts on the latest New York Asian Film Festival plus we may do one of those Top 100 Hong Kong Movies reader polls again. We might also post some pictures.

It’s good to be back.

We were always Twits, but now we’re on Twitter. Look who’s excited:

“Yesssssss! I’m STOKED for this, man!”

Oh, hmm, wrong guy for this site. How about this:

“Oh boy! LoveHKFilm.com on Twitter!
It makes me drool. I also need walkies.”

The official LoveHKFilm Twitter feed can be found RIGHT HERE GO NOW. There’s actually another LoveHKFilm Twitter out there but I have no idea who runs it or what they do. I’m guessing it’s not related to me because my multiple personality disorder was cured back in 2004.

Joining Twitter is just another part of this website’s quest to take over the universe, or at least find other ways to prevent our eventual death. As the site enters its ninth year online, we haven’t done much to enhance ourselves beyond some barely updated blogs and a greater dedication to writing about movies that nobody cares about. There are some personal reasons in there too, but I shan’t bore you with them because this post is about LoveHKFilm.com and not the dope who runs the thing.

Right now, I’m the only one who’s using it, but sooner or later, I hope to add a few other people so we can collectively dispense news, tidbits or chatter relating to Hong Kong Cinema and the HK film scene. As such, when I write about myself on Twitter I will likely be talking in the 3rd person. I’m sure that’ll excite people.

“Actually, this news makes me sad. Why does
LoveHKFilm have to find new ways to hurt us?”

Sorry Cecilia. We’ll stop making fun of you for a week.

Anyway, LoveHKFilm Twitter is now launched. If we can use it for another 6 months before mothballing it, it’ll already be a success.

Happy Lunar New Year, everyone!

Rather, Happy Late Lunar New Year. I’m forever getting behind. I’m so behind, in fact, that I’ll post up this celebrity Lunar New Year photo from last year:

“I think this is going to be a good year!”

Yes, this photo was taken before…uh, that thing that happened.

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NOTE: For this edition of Damn You Kozo, I’m combining a number of topics I was planning on writing separate blog entries about. Due to various reasons it’s been difficult getting anything off the ground, so I figured it was everything or nothing. Sadly, I have too many ideas to list everything, so why don’t we go with just five? Sounds like a plan.

Anyway, let’s get this over with.

Abandoned Blog Entry #1
OBAMA WINS, I CONSIDER MOVING BACK TO THE UNITED STATES

This is kind of cool:

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While writing this mini blog entry, I’m checking out the el-cheapo Chinese DVD of RED CLIFF (only HK$20 in Shamsuipo!). It’s the scene where Tony and Takeshi have their homosexual sex scene stringed instrument duel. It’s a pivotal scene because it demonstrates that they’re passionate soulmates natural comrades-in-arms who will regard each other with the utmost desire respect, even if one day they break up find themselves on opposing sides. It’s probably the cheesiest and most effective scene in RED CLIFF. John Woo, you are a master.

“I make love with this instrument.”

Anyway, we’re going dark for a while at Damn You, Kozo. Despite attempting to keep up some sort of weird schedule with this blog and the regular website updates, we’ve been upended by those one or two surprise circumstances that life occasionally throws at you. In this case, all my issues relate to my job, so they’re unavoidable. I would drop one of my other pastimes, but unfortunately, there’s not much left to do away with besides Damn You, Kozo! or LoveHKFilm.com. Despite the fact that I can get all self-absorbed on this blog, I consider LoveHKFilm.com more important, so it’s Damn You, Kozo! that has to take a powder. Them’s the breaks.

Recently, I’ve become so exhausted that I literally fall asleep at my computer or in front of the television. The latter reason is why I have yet to review either FATE or CHAOS, the two direct-to-video Hong Kong movies I talked about in my last blog entry. Nothing gets in the way of reviewing a film better than narcolepsy in front of the TV. The worst part about collapsing into sleep is that my air conditioning, television, or computer is usually left on, which means that my electric bill at the end of the month will be a staggering amount. As LoveHKFilm.com income has slowed considerably, I now regret not fighting for kickbacks from the Hong Kong film industry.

Not that the pursuit of cash has ever been my main concern. Recently, this site ran advertisements for THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR. You probably saw them if you frequented LoveHKFilm.com sometime in the past month - and if you reside somewhere in North America. The ads are geo-targeted to the U.S. and Canada, and since I live in Hong Kong, I could never see them. I only remembered that the ads were running when I saw a screen capture from a U.S. IP address a few days ago.

This concerns me because shortly after MUMMY came out, I published a review that absolutely eviscerated the film, pretty much calling it the worst thing I’ve seen all year. Well, maybe it’s not the worst thing I’ve seen all year, but in terms of dollars spent by the filmmakers it’s easily the biggest waste. I wonder if I would have done anything differently if I had been able to see the advertisement all the time. If Brendan Fraser and Jet Li had been staring at me every time I loaded up LoveHKFilm.com, would I have been nicer to the film? Postponed my review? Neglected to review it entirely? I’d like to think that the $$$$ wouldn’t have made me compromise, but frankly, we’ll never know.

“Fight me if you want that commission check!”

I imagine this dilemma must pose a bigger problem to more popular movie fansites, namely the ones that rely on industry connection, “scoops”, and spoilers. Those sites are primarily Hollywood-oriented, but that same sort of pseudo-journalism  has found its way to Asian Cinema too. Asian movies are a far different beast than they were ten years ago. The Internet was still the best way for English-speaking audiences to get information, but back then it was word of mouth and translated news reports that drove interest.

Nowadays, we have hype sites and selective coverage that can possibly skew perceptions of Asian Cinema. Hong Kong movies, in particular, get reduced to genre pictures or anything that has a “name” attached. These names, however, are only the names that have been made popular by film fests and geek sites, meaning Francis Ng, Donnie Yen, and Japanese pornstars are money. However, people like Alex Fong, Stephy Tang, or hell, even Gillian Chung don’t deserve a mention. Oddly, the hype sites do pay attention to Edison Chen. I wonder why.

“Why doesn’t anyone talk about me?”

Anyway, my original goal in writing an entry - any entry - was simply to talk about upcoming Hong Kong movies. As I doubt I’ll get to any blog entries in September, I’ll blow my wad via a handy list of dates and pictures:

Opening September 4th

THE LUCKIEST MAN
Director: Lam Chi-Chung
Starring: Chan Bak-Cheung, Bosco Wong, Yuen Qiu, Pinky Cheung, Monica Chan, Lam Chi-Chung, Chan Kwok-Kwan, plus lots of other people

“Yesss!!! Still employed!”

Lam Chi-Chung directs a cast of B and C-listers in this return to the Lunar New Year movie formula. Except, it’s September and not Lunar New Year. As this movie stars Chan Bak-Cheung, skepticism is a must.

RULE NO. 1
Director: Kelvin Tong
Starring: Shawn Yue, Ekin Cheng, Stephanie Che

“Don’t be depressed, kid. Your career can’t
possibly end up worse than mine!”

Ekin Cheng and Shawn Yue co-star in this horror-thriller about cops who fight ghosts. Or something. Directed by Singapore director Kelvin Tong, this film is only now getting Hong Kong play despite being released elsewhere as early as March 2008. You can find a review here.

A DECADE OF LOVE
Director: Too many people to mention
Starring: Also too many people to mention

I wish my bike-riding lessons were like this

One film, ten directors, and it was already reviewed. Sending you to the review saves us some typing effort.

September 11th

OCEAN FLAME
Director: Liu Fendou
Producer: Simon Yam
Starring: Liao Fan, Monica Mok, Simon Yam, Lam Suet

“Keep digging or we’ll make you wear a mask.”

I apparently liked this movie a lot more than everyone else - and I didn’t even like it that much. Truthfully, I can’t really recommend it unless you love pretentious movies that think intended depth equals quality. However, it’s pretty and the girl gets naked. That’s all anyone needs to know, I’m sure. We reviewed it here.

September 25th:

CONNECTED
Director: Benny Chan Muk-Sing
Starring: Louis Koo, Liu Ye, Barbie Hsu, Nick Cheung

“Operator? I’m looking for the nearest In-and-Out Burger!”

Some “in the know” people have recommended this film to me, so I eagerly await it. It’s a remake of the Hollywood film CELLULAR, which I unfortunately never saw. Benny Chan directs, so it should be an entertaining ride, if not a deep and insightful examination of man’s slavery to technology. I predict that Louis Koo will overact.

PAINTED SKIN
Director: Gordan Chan Car-Seung
Starring: Donnie Yen, Zhou Xun, Vicki Zhao, Aloys Chen

He even overacts in photos

Who cares about plot? PAINTED SKIN stars the legend that is DONNNNIEEEE, plus some other random people. On the geek meter, this is easily the #1 Hong Kong film of September.

OVERLOOKED:

Previously, I neglected to alert the rest of the world to THE PRETTY WOMEN, a Hong Kong film directed by Jon Hau that got theatrical play at like 2 screens sometime between the releases of RED CLIFF and LA LINGERIE. It stars Cecilia Yip and Ray Lui, and is about, um, some pretty women. Our good friend Tim Youngs was kind enough to point this out to us.

 
The sleeper hit of the year

By the way, it’s already available on a HK$20 China DVD in Shamsuipo. According to Time Out Magazine, the film made HK$90 on opening day. That’s less than 15 US dollars.

As for when I’ll be getting to these movies: A DECADE OF LOVE and OCEAN FLAME were already reviewed, and if I’m lucky I’ll manage to write RULE NO. 1 and THE LUCKIEST MAN reviews soon. I was also thinking of writing a much longer blog entry bitching about the sorry state of Hong Kong Cinema - that is, the business portion of it - while specifically calling out the pathetic release of RULE NO. 1, a movie starring Ekin Cheng and Shawn Yue that can’t even get proper theatrical play. The movie is on a handful of screens, is playing with English, Chinese AND Malaysian subtitles, and was obviously considered a flop before it even entered theaters. Really, the climate for Hong Kong Cinema is THAT bad. Frankly, the arrival of a film starring Donnie Yen is a godsend, if only because it might generate a foreign sale or two. RULE NO. 1 has no such luck; with Tartan’s Asian Extreme line shutting its doors, one wonders if there are any takers for the umpteenth variation on the pale, long-haired Asian ghost.

If I actually get to that blog entry, I expect a reaction like this:

“He still wants to keep up his blog? God, I hope not!”

Sometime in September, I’ll also be seeing the new Lawrence Lau film BALLISTIC, a Taiwan-set political police thriller starring Simon Yam, Taiwanese actor Joseph Chang, and Alice Tzeng from FORGIVE AND FORGET and SECRET. BALLISTIC is playing at the Hong Kong Summer International Film Festival, and in total I caught 5 films there. That’s nothing like the 22 I attempted at this spring’s HKIFF, not to mention the possible 30 I will attempt at the upcoming Hong Kong Asian Film Festival. If you visit the Broadway Cinematheque in October and see someone sleeping in a seat, there’s a 75% chance that it’ll be me. The other 25% is reserved for loiterers or vagrants.

In the meantime, I suggest you catch up on all the Asian movie news over at The Golden Rock, which has finally been freed following those pesky Olympics. As usual Kevin is much more up to date with what’s going on, plus he has the energy and enthusiasm that this old, aging movie watcher lacks. I think if I were ten years younger like Kevin, I’d probably be focused on turning LoveHKFilm.com into the Greatest Asian Cinema Website^TM ever or, at least, a consistently updated one. If I become independently wealthy, I’ll get right on it.

As always, we’ll end with a photo:

Hopefully it’s not Charlene that stinks

Thanks again, Apple Daily. See you all sometime later.

Last week, I posted the 13th LoveHKFilm Awards, so now would be a good a time as any to talk about the genesis and development of this not-so-prestigious event. Basically, there was no genesis. I made it up one day to add to my nifty new website because hey, I had time on my hands. When one is bored, they frequently come up with new and creative ways to pass the time. Just ask this guy:

“Whew! I have a lot of time on my hands.
Maybe I’ll take up photography.”

Pardon our interruption to beat a dead horse. Frankly, the above horse is so entertaining that I think I’ll be walloping it well into 2008. I have not yet figured out how to make fun of Isabella Leong’s recent media blitz.

“I get into the craziest messes! Silly me!”

Anyway, back to LoveHKFilm Awards. Originally I created them just because I felt like being self-important. Oddly, I now get occasional emails from people asking me when the LoveHKFilm Awards will get announced. It’s almost like the awards actually mean something. I’m amazed that such a thing would ever happen because my opinion is about as important as the person who took your ticket stub on your way into the cinema. Hell, his opinion may be more qualified than mine, because I’m sure he sees more movies than I do.

But nobody sees more crappy Hong Kong movies than me. At least, that’s what occurred with this year’s LoveHKFilm Awards, which I decided to hand out this year via committee.

Some background: back when I lived in the United States, I watched most of my Hong Kong movies alone, and what few I could catch with friends usually fulfilled one of the following questions, “Does it have action? Does it have Jackie Chan? Does it have hot chicks?” A few of my friends managed to expand their range to become partial to the fine work of Andy Lau or Sammi Cheng, but nobody would go out of their way to see My Sweetie with me, no matter how cute that Stephy Tang was. That was my life a few years back.

But here in Hong Kong I know a few suckers friends who will check out all the latest Hong Kong movies with me, up to and including such fine motion pictures as Beauty and the 7 Beasts and The Lady Iron Chef. Really, if you must test the loyalty of your friends, the surest way is to ask them to see a Wong Jing movie with you. If they say yes, then you’ve found a friend for life.

“Do you really think I care if my movies suck?”

Anyway, since I know people who are interested in seeing Hong Kong films, I figured why not ask them to help decide what 2007’s best Hong Kong movies were? Seven other such people took pity on me and agreed, leading to this year’s first LoveHKFilm Awards by committee. What’s the significance of this? Well, since it’s not just one person who’s coming up with these picks, perhaps this will be seen as more fair or balanced. Opinions are subjective, and mob rule consensus is always preferable to the voice of a single dictator person.

Kelly Chen agrees:

“Yes, your LoveHKFilm Awards are quite fair.
Now get your foot off my head!”

So, hopefully this will be the first of many “jury-chosen” LoveHKFilm Awards. I’ll describe the simple rules below to account for the few discrepancies that exist between these awards and the other, more official ones out there. At the very end, I’ll print my personal picks because then you’ll know how I voted. If you stop reading along the way, no one will blame you.

RULES for the 2007 LoveHKFilm Awards:

Films under consideration must have premiered theatrically or on home video in Hong Kong in 2007. Exceptions to this rule are movies that only found distribution in 2007, but may have premiered in earlier years. Examples would be The Postmodern Life of My Aunt, which is considered a 2006 film thanks to an international fest premiere or The Third Eye, which premiered at the 2006 Hong Kong International Film Festival, but only came to DVD in 2007. Conversely, Shamo is considered 2007 by some sources (e.g. The Golden Horse Awards), but since nobody saw it in 2007, it’ll be counted in 2008. It’s already a lock for Best Fashion Accessory.

In addition, for a film to be eligible, it must meet 3 of the following 4 criteria:

1. The film contains Hong Kong investment. Totally important, and a major reason that both Lust, Caution and The Sun Also Rises - two films passed over for consideration by the Hong Kong Film Awards - count here.

2. The film features a Hong Kong actor in a prominent, if not starring role. Probably the biggest film on the bubble here is Jay Chou’s Secret, which only has one definite Hong Kong actor - Anthony Wong - in a key supporting role. Both leads are Taiwan-based, so this movie almost got cut from consideration. We counted it anyway. Not that it matters because it won nothing.

3. The film features a Hong Kong director, i.e. a director who either hails from Hong Kong, or whose career is largely associated with Hong Kong Cinema. Ang Lee probably doesn’t qualify as a Hong Kong director, and neither does Jiang Wen. However, both their films matched the other 3 criteria, so we counted them both. Make sense?

4. It must feature a Chinese language prominently. A movie like The Touch would still get consideration despite being shot in English, because it fulfills the three of the four above criteria. However, My Blueberry Nights would get knocked out because it’s all in English and doesn’t have a Hong Kong actor. Wong Kar-Wai doesn’t need our help, anyway.

The above rules didn’t prevent some issues from occurring. One major issue was whether or not to let Lust, Caution in, not only because of its lack of inclusion in all of Hong Kong’s film awards, but also because if it were allowed in, it might sweep everything and make us look like one of your typical snooty awards societies. Well, we did leave it in, and it did win everything. My curiosity demands that we do a hypothetical do-over to see what would occur in a world without Ang Lee.

Also, to be clear about something: not everyone in the jury saw every film that was eligible for inclusion. I myself missed two films, House of the Invisibles and Fear Factors, but that’s not that big a deal because nobody else on the jury saw them either, and I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that neither film would be giving Lust, Caution a run for its money. All jury members saw the majority of the films, and most saw any film up for a quality award (i.e., not some jokey or crappy award). I myself saw every single film under consideration, including that terrible Francis Ng film The Closet.

The problem that does exist though, is that means a film can be hurt by not enough people seeing it. This was possibly the case for The Sun Also Rises, which was seen by a little over half of the jury, but not by all. As a result, I did some awesome mathematical re-jiggering (Whoops! Are we allowed to use that word anymore? PC Police, help me out!) to make sure lesser-seen films had extra representation. The solution probably wasn’t foolproof, but hey, we did the best we can. It’s not like anyone around here got paid.

Though it must be noted: one person on the jury did not see Lust, Caution, which means that every other vote for Lust, Caution got an extra boost. That boost could have propelled it past Hooked on You, which had nearly the same score as Lust, Caution and was seen by the entire jury. So, if the last person had seen Lust, Caution and had decided that it was complete and utter crap, they would have not given it any points, thus making Hooked on You the winner of our Best Picture award. Add to this the fact that the person who didn’t see Lust, Caution opted out due to disinterest, and you have the definite possibility that Hooked on You wins Best Picture.

All things considered, it’s possible that Hooked on You got robbed by the LoveHKFilm Awards.

“What? My movie got robbed
by your crappy awards? Screw you, Kozo!”

Anyway, here are my personal picks for the LoveHKFilm Awards:

The 10 Best Films:
1. Lust, Caution
2. Mad Detective
3. Hooked on You
4. The Sun Also Rises
5. Exodus
6. Mr. Cinema
7. The Postmodern Life of My Aunt
8. The Pye-Dog
9. Magic Boy
10. The Detective

The 10 Worst Films:
1. Wonder Women
2. Anna & Anna
3. The Drummer
4. House of Mahjong
5. Kung Fu Mahjong 3 - The Final Duel
6. Beauty and the 7 Beasts
7. Love Is Not All Around
8. Kung Fu Fighter
9. Sweet Revenge
10. Super Fans

Best Actor: Tony Leung Chiu-Wai (Lust, Caution)
Best Actress: Siqin Gaowa (Postmodern Life of My Aunt)
Best Supporting Actor: Ronald Cheng (Mr. Cinema)
Best Supporting Actress: Teresa Mo (Mr. Cinema)
Best Director : Jiang Wen (The Sun Also Rises)
Best Screenplay: Wai Ka-Fai, Au Kin-Yee (Mad Detective)
Best New Artist: Tang Wei (Lust, Caution)
Most Underrated Film: Magic Boy
Most Overrated Film: The Warlords
Most Bizarre Film: Ming Ming
Biggest Disappointment: Blood Brothers
Best Action: Invisible Target
Best Production Values: Warlords
Worst Production Values: House of Mahjong
Most Underrated Performer: Eason Chan (Hooked on You)
Funniest Performer: Louis Koo (Triangle)
Best Overacting: Chow Yun-Fat (The Postmodern Life of My Aunt)
Worst Overacting: Tony Leung Ka-Fai (The Drummer)
Taking Up Space: Tsui Tin Yau (Who’s Next)
Career Suicide: Barbara Wong (Wonder Women)

And, to honor the old Webmaster-only LoveHKFilm Awards and its silly categories:

Most Annoying: Jim Chim Sui-Man (Simply Actors)
Most Charismatic: Guey Lun-Mei (Secret)
Most Loveable: Kate Yeung (Magic Boy)
Missing in Action: Anita Yuen Wing-Yee (Protege)
Funniest Film: In Love with the Dead
Entertainer of the Year: Eason Chan, even if he did appear in Brothers
The Special Award: Wonder Women, because it was so very, very, very special
The Winner of Many of Next Year’s Awards: Edison Chen, for a zillion obvious reasons

Anyway, that’s it for this year’s LoveHKFilm Awards. Startling and scandalous, wasn’t it? Well, probably not, because these awards aren’t official and will likely be ignored by everyone in the Hong Kong entertainment industry. But hey, it was interesting, right?

“No, it wasn’t, and never claim that it was again. Got it?”

Sorry, man.