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Review
by Kozo: |
It's
the prequel to The Wesley's Mysterious File!
Well, not really, but Magic Crystal has some
things in common with the egregious 2002 sci-fi stinker.
One, they were both written and directed by questionable
Hong Kong director Wong Jing, and both feature Andy
Lau as an adventurer hot on the trail of some pseudo-science
fiction hokum designed for mass appeal and a planned
special effects budget. However, Magic Crystal
takes itself much less seriously than Wesley's,
and also features decent martial arts action from the
likes of Cynthia Rothrock and Richard Norton. Comparatively
speaking, Magic Crystal is probably better than
Wesley's, though that's not really something
to brag about. The X-factor: Wong Jing's trademark comedy,
which has aged about as well as a pair of unwashed socks.
Basically, the comedy stinks.
This is the eponymous Magic
Crystal: a green glowing rock that houses the essence
of an ancient extraterrestrial. Andy Lau is Andy, who
finds himself caught between evil Russian bastards (led
by Norton) and some Interpol agents (led by Rothrock
and Max Mok) for possession of the glowy rock. The rock
actually starts in Greece in the possession of Philip
Ko, but thanks to some quick thinking, it ends up in
the luggage of Andy's nephew (Siu Bing-Bing). The kid
quickly bonds with the green rock, which talks via telepathy
and does the E.T. finger-touching shtick via acrylic-paint
special effects. The rock also plays jokes on the likes
of Wong Jing (as Andy Lau's assistant) and the ever-annoying
Nat Chan Bak-Cheung, who plays a scummy suitor of token
hot female Cheung Man. Still, despite its resemblance
to a chunk of green Styrofoam, the rock remains on everyone's
wish list—enough that Andy gets thrown in jail
even though he has no idea what the big deal is. Fighting
and unfunny hijinks ensue.
Thankfully, the fighting
largely takes precedence over the unfunny hijinks. Though
the actors are obviously doubled at times, there's enough
fun choreography and rough-looking stuntwork to entertain.
Both Cynthia Rothrock and Richard Norton show off a
few different kung-fu styles, and Andy Lau is believably
nimble. He's also far from his later award-winning actor
days, as his character comes off as likably vapid, and
possessing of the depth of your average tidepool. Add
that to the annoying performances from Wong Jing and
Chan Bak-Cheung, and the horrid acting from all the
kids, and you have what could be a noxious collection
of actors. That they're given unfunny, uninteresting
stuff to do simply makes matters worse. For the icing
on the cake, you can check out the inane costumes (the
Interpol agents wear bright Polo shirts), the tinny
synthesizer score, and the simply terrible special effects.
A lot of popular cinema came out of Hong Kong during
the eighties, but Magic Crystal obviously wasn't
one of the heavy hitters.
Viewed with 20-20 hindsight, Magic Crystal is pretty much forgettable stuff
which probably wouldn't have been terribly missed had
they left it in whatever eighties time capsule it was
found in. The fighting can be enjoyable, and fans of
young Andy Lau might get a kick out of his baby-faced
popstar presence. However, when you factor in the simply
terrible hijinks (which sometimes seem to stretch on
for eternity), it may not be worth the effort. Yes,
a lot of popular eighties HK flicks had sections of
silly comedy between the action sequences, and even
the avowed classics had their share of unfunny hijinks.
However, the positives of those films (think Tiger
on Beat or Mr. Vampire) usually made the
slow patches negligible if not all-out invisible. This
is not the case in Magic Crystal; the action
here is interrupted and nearly slain by the onslaught
of crappy Wong Jing comedy. If you have high tolerance
to his particular brand of sloppy comedy, then maybe
you'll be able to take it. The rest of us could use
some help. The moral of the story: a fast-forward button
can be your best friend. (Kozo 2004) |
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